Godly Marriage Pt 1

It's good to see you all. Welcome you to Calvary Chapel. If you guys want to go ahead and stand with us, we'll pray and we'll get started.

Sorry about that. Oh, Lord, we thank you for the day and just thank you for who you are and for how much you love us, Lord. Thank you for another opportunity to be here to lift praise to you, God, and spend some time in your word. We ask your blessing upon this time and blessing upon the kids at the other end of the hall. And Lord, we ask your blessing upon Israel this morning, Lord.

And we ask your blessing and protection upon them, Lord, as they are fighting a war. But, God, we already know the outcome. We already know who wins. And that's you, Lord. So, Lord, we just, again, ask your blessing upon this time, Lord, and just help us to lift a joyful noise to you this morning. In Jesus' name, amen.

And have a seat, if you like, and we'll continue on.

Lord God, we thank you for the day, God, and we just praise you. We praise you for who you are and praise you for your faithfulness, Lord. We thank you that you are our firm foundation. Christ is my firm foundation, which I stand when everything around me is shaken.

Up and moving. Because he's let me down. He's faithful now.

Peace that makes no sense. So I will be on strength. Christ is my firm foundation. He's my firm foundation, which I stand.

Up and he's a nation built on.

Up and more glad.

And, yes, Lord God, we thank you that you will never fail, God. God, you can't. It's not in your vocabulary, Lord, God. We thank you that you are faithful, God, even when we're not. You are our firm foundation, Lord. We thank you.

Lord, this morning, God, we invite your Holy Spirit, Lord, to come and rest on this place. Come and do a mighty work in our hearts this morning, Lord. Lord, send revival to us. River, wash over me in water as I see. Open the heavens.

Lord, God, just send your Holy Spirit on us this morning. Lord, send revival.

Lord, God, we just ask that your Holy Spirit come and invade our hearts this morning, Lord. Pray that you do something awesome and mighty in this place, Lord, God. That they would be talking about it for the days and weeks to come. God, we invite you. Invite your Holy Spirit in this place. Lord, this morning, God, I just pray that you would just come and move in this place.

Lord, God, as we sing this last song, God, we just want to offer you thanks and praise because you are the same God yesterday, today, and forever. God, you are unchanging, and you are always faithful even when we're not. Amen. Amen.

I need you. Rock of ages, I'm standing on your faithfulness. Go ahead and stand with me. It's upon God my own name.

Oh, God, my faithfulness. On your faithfulness, oh, God. I heard your children, and you hear your children now. You are the same God. You are the same God. You answer. Your prayer's back then, and you will answer now. You are the same God. You are the same God. Amen. The same God. God, you moved in power then. God moved in power.

God, healer then. You are a healer. God, you are a savior. Oh, man. Oh, God, my God, I need you now.

I need your faithfulness. You freed the captives, and you're freeing hearts right now. You are the same God. You are the same God. You touched the lepers, and I feel your touch right now. You are the same God. Oh, God, my God, I need you. Oh, God, my God, I need you now. I need your faithfulness. Yeah. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness. The Holy Spirit will come again.

Oh, God, we thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you that you've never changed, but you've always stayed the same. We know that there's never any surprises with you, Lord God, but thank you that you're faithful even when we're not. God, we thank you. We thank you, Lord God, we need you. We need you. Every hour, we need you. Oh, God, my God, I need you. One more time.

Oh, God, my God, I . . . Oh, God, we just thank you. We praise you. And we praise you as Pastor Ryan comes this morning, Lord, as we pray that you overfall him with your Holy Spirit and speak to our hearts, Lord. And God, give us ears to hear and hearts to receive what you would have us to hear this morning, God. I pray that you do something awesome and mighty in this place

because you're a big God and you do mighty things.

God, we love you and we praise you. We thank you. In Jesus' name, amen. Let's have some fellowship.

Good morning. If you could begin the process of locating your seat.

Grab a bulletin. We'll get ready to go over some announcements. Morning, boys.

Welcome to Calvary Chapel. I'm glad that you've joined us this morning. In your bulletin, a few things to take note of over on the left-hand side are all of the studies that you can get plugged into throughout the week. So find yourself a spot to get plugged into. Over in the middle section, a handful of things to take note of. Just a reminder that this, Friday, is the Great Pumpkin Chase.

If you have questions about that, you can talk to Tristan, the guy raising his hand over there. If you want to get involved or you've got a kid that maybe doesn't usually come to youth group, have him see him. Also, this coming Saturday is men's breakfast on the 21st. So, fellas, take note of that and come join us this Saturday. And then also, Sunday the 22nd, which is this next Sunday,

is the Operation Christmas Child Family Mission Day that Joe and Danielle and their kids talked about last week from 1.30 to 4 here at the church. There's also a sign-up sheet if you want to get involved in that out in the lobby by where you picked up your bulletin. Then a couple of other things. Just a reminder, Operation Christmas Child boxes are due on November the 12th.

And I always like to tell people, that day will come faster than you think it's going to. Right now, that feels forever away. But pretty soon, it's going to be November the 11th. And you're going to be like, shoot, I didn't get that packed yet. So, you know, I'm going to be there. Start early. I won't, but you should. It's the right thing to do. Listen, I'll procrastinate later, right?

Also, if you want to go to Dallas with the Operation Christmas Child team to work in the warehouse down there, that sign-up is out there as well and all the info on that. And then a couple of other, two or three other things that are going on. Man, we're just, we're packed now, right? Like, nothing in the bulletin a couple weeks ago. Now, I don't even have room.

The live nativity that we're going to be helping with, that Bible Christian is putting on, our church is doing a portion of that. Again, there's information and a sign-up sheet out there in the lobby. And then a couple of other things along those lines. Judy Colson is going to be working with the kids on doing some Christmas songs. So starting November the 5th,

they are going to be working on a special Christmas song with the children. Practice will be at the beginning of children's church time. So right after the kids get started on Sunday mornings, they're going to be working on some songs that they're going to be singing. I don't know if we've determined what day that is just yet, which Sunday. That is just yet.

But one of those Sundays in December, they're going to be singing those songs for us. And then also she's working on putting together an adult choir to do some songs. So if you are interested in being involved in that, there again is a sign-up sheet out there. So, or you can, you can talk to Judy. Raise your hand, Judy. You can slowly, but oh, there it is. Yep.

There it is right there. All right, perfect. You can talk to her. So those are the things that are going on. Our ministry spot, spotlight for the week is what used to be called Campus Crusade for Christ. Now it's just crew. We support Mark and Nancy Austin. And what they do is they put together this thing called the Jesus film. And the Jesus film gets translated into a lot of other languages,

especially in predominantly Muslim countries. And they take that in there and people watch it and people get saved like crazy because they see the real story of Jesus in a language that they understand. And it really speaks to their hearts. So that's one of the ministries that we support. Here at Calvary Chapel of Arc City. Okay. That being said, for our responsive reading,

we are going to be in Psalm 75. Psalm 75. For this part, we'll be looking at the New American Standard. So we sound the same. Then you can go back to whichever Bible you brought after that. If you need a copy of a New American Standard, should be one in a row around you. If not, make a friend. And as you are turning to Psalm 75, if you are able, please stand in the honor of the reading of God's word.

I will read the odd verses if you will follow along with Pastor Allen and the even verses. Psalm 75 for the choir director set to Al-Tashef, a psalm of Asaph, a song. We give thanks to you, O God. We give thanks for your name is near. Men declare your wondrous works. When I select an appointed time, it is I who judge with equity. The earth and all who dwell in it melt.

It is I who have firm. It is I who have firmly set its pillars. Selah. I said to the boastful, do not boast. And to the wicked, do not lift up the horn. Do not lift up your horn on high. Do not speak with insolent pride. For not from the east nor from the west, nor from the desert comes exaltation. But God is the judge. He puts down one and exalts another. For a cup is in the hand of the Lord and the wine foams.

It is well mixed. And he pours out of this. Surely all the wicked of the earth must drain and drink down its dregs. But as for me, I will declare it forever. I will sing praises to the God of Jacob. And all the horns of the wicked he will cut off. But the horns of the righteous will be lifted up. And Father, we do praise you that you are the ultimate judge.

And Lord, we can rest in that. Lord, we can rest in your sovereign plan that you have at work in this world today. And so, Father, I pray. I pray that you would speak to our hearts through your word. Lord, I ask that you would move now in this place by the power of your Holy Spirit. And Father, I ask that you would move in the nation of Israel. Protect them.

Keep them safe from their enemies that surround them. And Lord, bring them victory. Father, we pray for the peace of Jerusalem. And Lord, bless our time here together this morning in Jesus' name. Amen. You may be seated.

Typically, I would have you turn to the book of Ephesians right now. Because we've been in Ephesians chapter 5. But I want to have you turn to Genesis. Genesis chapter 2. Genesis chapter 2. Now, before we get into the message that I have prepared this morning, I want to give just a quick little statement. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this. I don't know if any of you watched the video that I sent out on Flocknote yesterday.

It was really good. What it was is it was the Wednesday night service from Calvary Chapel of Albuquerque. And it was fascinating. He interviewed Joel Rosenberg and a couple of other guys about the situation that's going on in Israel right now. I won't give you much. It's more of an update other than to tell you go watch that. If you are not on Flocknote, now is a great time for you to get signed up for it.

It's how we send out prayer requests as well as things that are taking place here at the church. You can just go to flocknote.com slash ccac and sign up for those things. And then also, if you did not receive that, you can just Google Skip Heitzig or Calvary Chapel Albuquerque. And pull up their website. I can't remember off the top of my head what the website was.

But if you Google that. You can go to their website and you can watch their Wednesday night service. It will say update on Israel. The only thing that I'll say is this. It's kind of fascinating to see how things are playing out. Because I don't know if you realize this. But within about the last six months to a year, Israel has been basically almost in a civil war.

And because of debates over who was going to be in charge and what kind of government they were going to have. But this thing has united the nation of Israel almost like never before. Which is kind of fascinating from a prophetic standpoint. Because the nation of Israel has to be united in order for them to sign a peace treaty with an antichrist. And there also has to be just mass chaos in the Middle East for there to need to be a peace treaty that's signed with an antichrist.

So it sets up really well that 70th week of Daniel. So just keep paying attention. Again, the biggest thing I'll tell you rather than a whole bunch of speculation is this. Be ready. Be ready as believers in Jesus Christ. Because no matter what comes next. What the world needs is they need believers in Jesus Christ who will stand firm on the truth. And what you need more than anything is to be a believer in Jesus Christ who stands on the truth.

And that's why we continue to dig into what God's word has to say. Now, we've been in Ephesians chapter 5. And we've been talking about walking with God. Walking as children of God. And the very last verse that we covered, verse 21 of chapter 5 said, And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. That word to be subject also means submit to one another.

And from that point on, Paul is going to address three types of relationships in which mutual submission is an important thing to have. He's going to address the marriage relationship. He's going to address parental relationships. And he's going to address workplace relationships, specifically employer to employee, and see how all of that works together. The first one, of course, that we'll address is the marriage relationship.

And we're actually going to spend. We're going to spend about three weeks, I think, two to three weeks on marriage. Because I think it's an important thing for us to talk about. Now, I want to first of all point out to you that this is a message that truly is for everyone. I know that there's probably a handful of people in here in various situations going,

Hey, that's not really for me because I'm not married. And so I want to talk about why this is important for everyone. And so I've singled out some different groups that might think, hey, this message isn't for me. If you're here this morning and you are someone who is divorced, I know that the potential right now is to feel like condemnation is going to be heaped upon you because you're looking at a study on marriage and perhaps thinking to yourself, Well, I didn't do it right.

And so my marriage didn't work out. And to feel condemned because of that. My goal is not to condemn you. My goal is to show you what God intends. So that perhaps if there's an area of repentance that needs to take place in your life, that can take place. Or if because the marriage didn't work out, God has something else in mind for you, someone else that he's going to condemn.

Someone else that he's going to bring into your life. You will be prepared for what that's going to be for you all in good time. There are some of you here this morning that are what I call single by choice or single by God's calling. God has called you to a place of singleness because he is going to use you in that way. For various reasons, you've been called to it.

But that's what God has called you to. It is still important for you to hear about marriage, for you to learn about what marriage is supposed to be like. Because first of all, it speaks of God's covenant faithfulness to us. So it reminds us of God's faithfulness. But also marriages are not only the bedrock of our society, but they're the bedrock of the church.

And you will know how best to support and pray for those who are in a marriage relationship. Some of you are here this morning and you're single, not by choice. I call you single in waiting, right? Some of you are here this morning and you're kind of like, I'm single, but I am ready to mingle, right? Like you don't want to be single in your life right now. But this is still for you.

Because first of all, you need to know that God has somebody prepared for you. And you need to set yourself up. You need to set your sights high for that. You need to set your standards high for that. But also you need to know going into a relationship what a marriage is supposed to look like so that you can hopefully avoid future failure. There's some of you in here and your marriage is struggling.

You're not sure you'll make it through today. You're not sure that you're even going to survive the week in your marriage. And I want you to know something. This message is for you because it's time for you to get back on track with what God has intended for your marriage to look like. And so this message is for you. And there's some of you here this morning that, man, your marriage is thriving.

It couldn't be better if you tried. But I'm here to tell you that's not true. Because while your marriage is thriving and that's wonderful, it can always be better. And the moment that you think, I don't need to work on my marriage anymore, is the moment that you will probably find yourself in a situation where something catches you off guard because that's when the enemy loves to come in.

And so no matter who you are this morning, while I know you sit back and think, man, I don't know. Three-week study on marriage is really, for me, it really is important for all of us to hear because marriage, honestly, is one of the subjects that occupies an incredible amount of scripture. So as we get into it, I wanted to give a little bit of a definition by way of kind of introduction. So I did what I oftentimes do.

I just went onto the Google machine and I just typed in the word marriage and hit search. It's kind of fascinating. It pops up a dictionary definition. Fascinatingly enough, it's a different dictionary every time I do something. So it's kind of interesting that they use different dictionaries for different words. I don't know why that is. It's a conspiracy probably,

but I'm not going to go into it. So this is what Google told me marriage is. Google says marriage is the legally or formally recognized union of two, pay attention to this word, people as partners in a personal relationship. That is how the world defines marriage. And I want you to pay attention to the fact that it says people because that's what we have done to marriage.

Marriage is we've made it just two people that come together and there don't seem to be a whole lot of distinctions beyond that. So I went to my Bible study search engine and I, on the side over here, I just scrolled down to some definitions of some word. It came to the word marriage. And this is what it gave in the Olive Tree Bible dictionary. I thought it was kind of interesting.

It says marriage is the permanent union of a man and a woman. Now I like that, right? Because that's God's definition of marriage. That's the Bible's definition. That's the definition of marriage. But as I've said before, the world has changed that. The world has changed the definition. The world has changed the meaning. The world has changed the understanding of what marriage is supposed to look like.

And so if we are to be biblical Christians who walk as children of God to truly live in the marriages that God has called for us to do, then I think the best thing that we can do is get back to the foundation of what God originally taught us about marriage. And so the best way to do that is to go back to the beginning and see when God actually gave the institution of marriage to us. That brings us to Genesis 2, verse 15. I want you to notice what it says.

It says, Then the Lord God took the man, which is Adam, and he put him in the garden of Eden to cultivate it and to keep it. The Lord God commanded the man, saying, From any tree of the garden you may freely eat, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day you eat from it you will surely die. Then the Lord God said, It's not good for man to be alone. It's not good for man to be alone.

It's not good for man to be alone. It's not good for man to be alone. It's not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper that is suitable for him. Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.

The man gave names to all the cattle, to all the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept. Then he took one of his ribs and he closed up the flesh. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man.

Then he brought her to the man. The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked and were not naked. The man said, That's the story of the institution of marriage and society.

Now, by way of a little bit of background, I'll remind you that Genesis chapter 1 gave us the overview of creation. The first six days of creation. Genesis chapter 2 dives deeper into those days of creation, specifically the creation of Adam. The beginning of chapter 2, it says that the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the earth, that he breathed life into his nostrils, and he was made alive.

And it was at that point in time that we jump into Adam being put into the garden. So, as we look at verses 15 through 25, there's a few things that I would point out to you, and I'm going to put them in two different categories. The first thing I want to do is point out to you just some observations about marriage itself, but then I want to give us four principles of what godly marriages are supposed to look like. So, first of all, let's look at the observations.

The number one observation, the first one that I make is this. Marriage. Marriage is God's idea. Marriage is God's idea. Now, that's important for two reasons. The first reason why it's important is that if marriage is God's idea, then he gets to define it. He gets to define it. He gets to put the parameters on it. He gets to tell us what marriage is supposed to look like

because it's his idea. That means that if we want to know what marriage is supposed to look like, we should stop doing most of the things that our culture is doing right now. We should stop going to all of the psychology books to figure out what Freud had to say about marriage. We should stop listening to what Oprah has to say about marriage. We should stop listening to what your friend that you work with has to say about marriage.

You should stop listening to what all of the other people have to say about marriage, and you should start looking at what the Bible says. And brothers and sisters, if somebody comes to you and says, I'm having trouble in my marriage, what do I do? The best thing you can do is take them to the Bible and see what the Bible says about marriage. Marriage. Because marriage is God's idea. Now, that's the first reason why it's important that

it's God's idea. The second reason why it's important that it's God's idea is because we realize that marriage is God's gift to humanity. Marriage is God's gift to humanity. And our culture, marriage is not always viewed that way. Marriage is oftentimes viewed as a cross to bear, right? What's the old saying? The old ball and chain, right? We view it as shackles

sometimes. And I'm going to explain why we do that in a little bit. But oftentimes, that's the way marriage is viewed in our culture today. It's viewed in a very negative way. But I would tell you, if we would change our viewpoint of it and realize that it is a gift from God to humanity, that we would begin to view marriage very differently. Because he looked at us and said,

they need someone. I'm going to gift them someone by my love that will be the completion of who they are. And so marriage is God's idea. Number two, God knew what Adam needed. God knew what Adam needed. I love this because it starts off in verse 18 by saying this, therefore, or then the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. It's not good for

the man to be alone. Now, if we were to go back into Genesis chapter one, which we're not going to do, you would find that after everything that God created, it would say that God created this and it was... It was good, right? Everything that God made was good until you get to Adam being alone. And when you get to Adam being alone, it says, God said that it was not good that man would be alone.

Now, you can look at this a couple of ways. You can look at this and say, God screwed up the first go round. And he was like, oh shoot, I knew I forgot something. I made man, I made animals, I made plant life, I made water, I made sun, I made all those things. I forgot about a wife. I don't think that's what was going on. You see, I don't know how long Adam lived in the garden before

God looked and said, it's not good that man should be alone. But I do know that Adam lived in the garden for a little while. And I don't think when God looked at Adam and said, it's not good that he should be alone. It was because God made a mistake. I think, and this is just me. And if you challenge me on this, I'm willing to concede. It doesn't actually say this in the Bible,

but I think that Adam as a free moral agent needed to realize he was alone and he needed something. And it was not good. Therefore, God looked at Adam and he said, it's not good that man should be alone. Now, I want to tell each of you something right now, especially those of you that are single and waiting. God knows that you're alone. God knows that you feel alone. And God knows that

you think it's not good that you're alone. I tell you that because sometimes when you're that person, single and in waiting, you find yourself going, is God ever going to bring me someone? And I want you to know that God knows exactly what you need. And he is paying attention. God saw and God knew and God acted. And so what did God do? God said, I will provide for him a helper.

Same verse where he says, it's not good that man should be alone. I will provide for him a helper. Now, this is a dangerous word. I do a lot of premarital counseling. And when I do premarital counseling, I like to just ask tons of questions. That's basically what I do in premarital counseling, right? Is I just ask them lots of questions. And so I love to start off by asking the question, what does the word

helper mean to you? Now, I usually don't care who starts, but every now and then I like for the guy to start. And this is one that I like for the guy to start. And I love to watch him squirm. And he's like, uh, so I think what a helper is, is, uh, and I just look over to kind of wink at the, at the, at the fiance. She, we sit and watch him struggle for a minute. It's the greatest,

greatest five minutes. My life, right? Greatest five minutes of my day that day. But eventually he comes up with some things and we talk about it, but, but that word helper is often the demeaning word, right? Now, I want us to understand something and we'll get into this more as we continue on. God has created that, that men would be the leaders in the home, that men would be the leaders in the church and

the men would be the leaders in society. I don't apologize for that. I know that's a very unpopular statement for me to make. It makes me patriarchal or whatever you want to call me, but I can't help it. The Bible says it, not me. Okay. I'm just telling you what the Bible says. Now we'll talk in a few weeks about what that does not mean, because it doesn't mean that,

that men are better. It just means that God has given them the responsibility and the accountability that they will have before the Lord. But what we have to understand about this word, this word helper is that it's actually a very strong word. You see, usually in our minds, especially for those of us that work construction for a long time or things like that, usually the guy with all of the skill did all of the work and the guy that handed him the tools was known as the helper, right?

Matter of fact, he'd say, can you be my helper today? Right? And it's kind of a demeaning word a lot of times, but I would tell you that this word in the Hebrew is not demeaning at all. It actually is a very powerful word. As a matter of fact, one of the other instances in which it's used in scripture is in Psalm 121, which we read last week for our responsive reading. It says, I lift my eyes

up into the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help, same Hebrew word, comes from the Lord. It actually is an incredibly powerful word. It's a very powerful word. It's a very powerful word because it speaks of a help that gives the strength that is necessary to do what needs to be done. And I would tell you, you show me a successful man and I will show you an incredibly strong

woman. You show me a strong man and I will show you a strong woman that has been alongside him, that has made him who he is today because God said, I will make for him a helper. Now there's a third word that's used there and I want you to pay attention to it because he says, I will make for him a helper that is suitable for him. That word suitable means comparable or corresponding to, but I prefer the new living translation on this because I think it really captures the essence of what it means by someone who is suitable for him. Because in the new living translation, it says, I will provide for him a

helper that is just right. I will provide for him a helper that is just right. And I got to tell you, for those of us that really truly understand who our spouse is, we know that who God for us is, is just right. They were exactly who we needed. And again, I want to speak to you single folks for just a minute because God has somebody that is just right for you. And if I could speak

anything, especially to you young ladies, I think it's because I raised young ladies and I'm around them a lot. But if I could speak anything to you, I would say, do not settle for any one less than the man that is just right. The first observation in marriage is God's idea. The second observation is that God knew what Adam needed. The third observation is that God brought her to Adam. God brought her to Adam. Notice what

it says in verse 22. So the Lord God fashioned into a woman, the rib, which he had taken from the man and brought her to the man. Now I love this. So God looks at Adam. He says, it's not good that he should be alone. I'll provide him a helper that's suitable for him. Now, what did he form Adam from? He formed Adam from the dust, right? What's he form Eve from? The rib of Adam. You see, the very

first surgery takes place in chapter two of the book of Genesis. God takes Adam and he puts him into a deep sleep and he removes some of his ribs. And from those ribs, he fashions into a woman. Now, there's an old Hebrew proverb that's so fascinating in this because it says this, when God formed the woman, he did not take her from the head so that she would rule over him, nor did he take her from the head so that she would rule over him.

He took her from the foot so that he would rule over her. He took her from the rib so that she would always be close to his heart. And so that's how God provided this woman for Adam. But I want you to notice what happens. It says that God brought her to the man. God brought her to Adam. Now, I think that that's really important for two reasons. Again, I'm going to speak to you

single people for just a minute. God brought Eve to Adam. Why is that important? You know where Adam didn't find her? He didn't find her. He didn't find her. He didn't find her. He didn't find her. He didn't find her up in the club, right? He wasn't up in the club trying to find him a girl, right? He didn't find her by putting the vibe out. He didn't do any of those kinds of things. God brought her to Adam.

All Adam did was submit to God. God knew what he needed. God said, I have to put you to sleep for this for a minute, but it's okay. I'm going to take something from you, but I'm going to make it something so much better. So Adam had to submit to God. And when he did, God brought her, to him. And young men, young women, I want you to understand something. Stop striving. I don't care

what TikTok says. I don't care what Instagram says. I don't want anything that these things say. You need to let God bring the right person into your life and don't settle for anything less. Those of you that are married here this morning, I want you to understand something. God brought that spouse to you. Really? Did he know what he was doing when he did that? Yeah,

he did. Okay. That person that God brought into your life, he brought to you. And you need to view them like that. And they need to view you like that because God brought you guys together. So those are the three observations. Marriage is God's idea. God knew what Adam needed and God brought the woman to Adam. Now we come to the four principles of marriage. The four principles of marriage. Start again in verse 22 and let's read

down to the bottom. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man. He brought her to the man. The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. So four principles for a godly marriage. Number one, marriage means leaving. Marriage means leaving. I want you to notice what it says. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother. That word leave means exactly what it sounds like. It means to forsake, to leave behind, or to cut off.

In the direct context, what it means to leave is to leave your father and your mother. Leave behind mother and father. Let me put that to you in a language that we can understand. It means to leave behind the parental protection. There was a time in my ministry where I didn't think this was an important point to make, but I've worked with enough couples now to understand

that this is an incredibly important point to make. Because oftentimes what can happen in marriage relationships is that the protection of the parents is never left behind. Let me tell you what I mean. Husband and wife come together, but the wife never left behind the protection of the parents. So every time she has a question, she doesn't ask her husband, she asks her dad.

She asks her dad what this is supposed to mean. She asks her dad to be the one that fixes something at the house. She asks her dad's advice, and she never asks the husband. This creates a great deal of insecurity on the part of the husband because he feels like he's always compared to her dad. And he can't ever measure up to her dad, especially in her eyes, at least as far as he's concerned,

because they never left behind that parental protection. And now her dad is still the most important person in her life, even though she's married to a husband. I'm not making this scenario up. This is real life. Here's the other thing that can happen. A husband will leave behind his mom and dad, but he never really cut off the ties that he has with his mother. Matter of fact, he compares everything that his wife does to what his mother does. That's

not the way my mom irons my shirt. That's not the way my mom usually makes that. That's not how my mom does these kinds of things. You know, my mom, and it's everybody loves Raymond, right? We've all seen that show, right? That is a perfect example of not leaving behind parental protection. And eventually, we have to say, I'm not leaving behind my mom. I'm not leaving behind my dad. I'm not leaving

my mom. I'm not leaving behind my dad. I'm not leaving behind my dad. I'm not leaving behind my You can seek the advice of your parents. That's fine. But do it together after you've talked to each other first, because now your priority is not your relationship with your mother and father. Now your priority is your relationship with your spouse. And again, I'm telling you, I've seen

marriages ruined because they would not leave behind the family. They would not cut off that parental protection. But you see, in our culture, I think there's two other things that it means. The second thing that I think that it means is this. It means you have to leave behind the single life. You have to leave behind the single life. Ryan, what do you mean, leave behind the single

life? Listen, if you're a man, you now can't have close relationships with all of the girls that you knew before. I'll be honest. I grew up around a lot of girls in my life. One of my best friends growing up was a girl. My parents' best friends all had girls. I had a sister. legit, estrogen was what I was constantly surrounded by, right? And these are still

friends of mine. I still know them. But you know what I'm not going to do? I'm not going to call one of them up and say, hey, let's go have lunch, just me and you. You know why? Because I've cut off the single life. And those relationships are different than they used to be now. Do I still know them? Yeah. Do I still talk to them? Yeah. But it's not like it used to be, because I've

cut off the single life. And there are too many people that haven't cut off relationships from the past. And you think it's okay to hold on to that relationship. And social media has made that even easier than it used to be. If you've got somebody from your past messaging you on some form of social media, cut it off. Block them. Delete them. Get rid of them. I don't care if

it hurts their feelings. You're married. And your spouse is now the most important thing to you. And your marriage is more important than a friendship from 20 years ago. You have to cut off the single life. Ladies, you can't go, pouring your heart out to some guy because he listens so much better than your husband does. You know why he listens so much better than your husband does? Because he wants to have

a relationship with you. And you need to understand that. You need to understand that if there is a guy who is constantly trying to be there for you, it's for a reason. And you have to cut off the single life. There are marriages that are being destroyed right now because they won't cut off the single life. But there's a third thing that has to be left behind. We have to leave

behind the single life. We have to leave behind the single life. We have to leave behind the single life. There's a third thing that has to be left behind. A life lived only for yourself. A life lived only for yourself. You see, too many people come into marriages and they think everything's going to be the same way that it was when they were single. They're going to do what they want,

when they want, however long they want. And it doesn't matter what their spouse has to say because after all, I'm still the man of the relationship. Or, hey, you're lucky that you even got me. You should just be the man of the relationship. You should just be the man of the relationship. You should just be happy that I'm around. And they're living according to their own

selfish desires. You're buying things that you can't afford, even though you haven't talked to your wife about it. You're buying things that you can't afford, even though you haven't talked to your husband about it. And you're doing all these selfish things because you never left behind the single life. And now you're living only to please yourself. But my friends, godly marriages

means leaving. Things behind. Number two, marriage means being joined. Marriage means being joined. Notice what it says, for this reason, again, verse 24, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. That word joined is a really vivid word in the Hebrew. That word joined means to adhere to like glue, to adhere to like glue. I want you to picture, if you will,

pieces of material that are brought together and they're glued together, right? You ever done arts and crafts with your kids? I hate arts and crafts, but I have to do with my kids sometimes, right? You do arts and crafts with your kids. Have you ever glued something in the wrong spot? And you're like, oh, son of a gun, I can't even glue things correctly. I wonder if I can still,

what if I can still move it? And you go, you go to pull it apart. And what happens? Half of the paper either gets left on the paper down here, or you've ripped the paper in half. You know why? Because when things are glued together, if you try to separate them, you cannot help but cause, consequences. Because when those things are adhered together, they become

one. And that's what marriage is supposed to be. We are to adhere to each other. We are to be joined together. But let me give you another word that I think vividly paints the picture of being adhered to or joining to. And that's the word commitment. It means being committed to someone. And you know what word again, we don't like in this culture today. I don't care if it's

marriage or anything else. We don't like the word commitment. Because commitment means I may have to every now and then sacrifice myself. But you don't understand. I wanted to do this. I don't care. You're committed. You are committed to that person. Therefore, whatever thing you want to do that's going to violate that commitment, you can't do. Because you are committed. Because you are adhered to

like glue. And that commitment is the most important thing in your life. Now, we need to understand something because there's two ways that you can look at commitment, right? And people will look at commitment one of these two ways. Commitment will either A, be the cross that you have to bear. I'm committed. I can't do that because I've already made a commitment, right? And it becomes this like, oh man, it's this thing that I have to do. And of

course, we know that every spouse loves to hear that I'm committed to you, right? Like they love to hear that. And so first of all, it can be the cross that you have to bear. And it can be the cross that you have to bear. Or it can be the freedom that you live in. It can be the freedom that you live in. I'll be honest with you. One of the many things that I love about my wife

is that she just loves me for me. She takes me warts and all. I remember when I first started losing my hair, there were guys that were like, man, I just want to find a wife before I lose all of my hair. And they'd look at me and go, never mind. You know what's great about Erin? When I first started dating her, so I started losing my hair when I was 20, right? Like that's when wounded soldiers first started showing up on my pillow

and on the sink every morning. I'd be like, oh, man down, Captain. Man down, right? And so that's when it started happening. I met my wife about a year or two later. And you know what the first thing that she helped me do was? Buy the shampoo that might help my hair grow back. You know why? Because she just loved me for me. And she's like, I don't care. But if you want that stuff to grow

back, this is what you got to use. And then eventually it was like, nope, ain't growing back. Okay, we'll just shave your head. Right? She just loved me anyway. No matter what was going on with me, she just loves me. She accepts my weird. She accepts my not weird. And there's a whole lot less not weird than there is weird, right? And she just loves me. And now I live in the most freedom in my

life. You know why? Because I know that no matter what, she's going to be there. Because that commitment, the fact that she has joined to me, the fact that she has adhered to me is the greatest freedom that I now live with in my life. And I think if I were to ask her, I think she would say the exact same thing. That the commitment that I have to her is the freedom that she lives with in her life.

Because she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, whatever happens, we're in this thing for the long haul. Brothers and sisters, marriage means leaving, but marriage also means joining together in commitment. Number three, marriage means becoming one. Notice what it says. Number three, marriage means becoming one. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and

mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. The two shall become one flesh. Now, I want to point something out to you. Oneness is not sameness. Now, I looked up sameness. That's a word. I promise. I didn't just make that up last night. That's a real word. I looked it up on the Google. Turns out it is a word. Oneness is not sameness. Let me point out what I mean by this.

Notice what it says. Verse 22. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man, and he brought her to the man. And the man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. That's oneness, right? Because she was made from the man. Therefore, they are one because their materials come together in that way. But notice what it says. She shall be called woman. That's a different name because she was taken out

of man. You see, while one, not the same. The beautiful thing about the marriage relationship is that God brings two completely different people together. And he makes them one. Again, one of the things that we talk about in premarital counseling when I work with couples is we talk about the fact that there are differences in marriages or differences within the marriage relationship because of the people. What psychology has now taught us is what

the Bible has taught us for a long time. And that's that your similarities bring you together, but your differences keep you together. You know why? Because while you're not the same, you are one. And when two different people come together, you are one. And when two people come together, they benefit each other because they balance each other out. And so we become one even

though we're not the same. Now, this oneness is fascinating because this oneness, first of all, is pictured in the physical relationship between a man and a woman, which is an incredibly important part of a husband and wife relationship. That sexual relationship is incredibly important for a husband and wife. But it is not the ultimate of the oneness that God is talking about. It is just

the beginning of the oneness that he's talking about. The ultimate oneness that he's talking about is that now you're the same in everything. There is no longer two individuals. You are now one. I always talk to couples about this. Y'all remember when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were together? You remember what they called them? Go ahead, shout it out. Brangelina, right? I always

tell couples, I'm like, that's the cheesiest example I can tell you of what it means to become one. Because when two people come together, it's not two individuals anymore. They're together. Fun fact, if you put Ryan and Aaron together, Aaron's my wife, by the way, if you put Ryan and Aaron together, you know what names you get? Ryan or Aaron. It's like we're one,

right? I mean, you can't even change our names. And so that's the oneness that he's talking about is that everything now is shared between the two of you. Because you're together and you're one. It means one spiritually. It means one physically. It means one emotionally. It means that there's you are one. That oneness is what God has intended. The fourth principle of marriage is this.

Marriage is a process. Marriage is a process. I want to read that very last line of verse 24 to you one more time. It says, and they shall become one flesh. They shall become one flesh. I assume everybody here remembers their wedding day, if you're married here this morning. If you're not married here this morning and you remember your wedding day, we have a different

counseling session for you. But if you're married here this morning and you remember that wedding day, you remember what took place, right? You stood before your pastor, you stood before your friends and family, all your loved ones, and you said a bunch of vows. You struggled to put the ring on their finger because their hand was a little bit swollen because they were nervous and they'd had too much salt that day. But finally, you pushed the ring over the finger and you said,

I do. And you did all those kinds of things. And then, here, the pastor said, I now pronounce you husband and wife. And what God has brought together, let no one dare to separate, right? That moment happened. At that point in time, when you are pronounced husband and wife, in the eyes of God, in the eyes of the state in which you were married, in the eyes of everybody that's there, and in the eyes of your pastor,

you are now one. Because you became one through the rings and the exchanging of vows. But what you didn't realize is, while you were pronounced as one, you actually started a journey of becoming one. Because now, for the rest of your lives together, you will become one flesh. I looked up this word become because I thought there had to be something a little bit deeper. And so, in the English dictionary, this is how

the word become is defined. The word become means to begin to be. Now, I like that. So, if we were to read that in there, I want you to notice what it would say. And the two began to be one flesh. Because it started a process that was now a lifelong process of becoming one. And one of the things that I always tell couples is that you need to embrace the process. Because that's exactly what it is. Every day, it's a process of becoming

one. Every day, it's a process of learning a little bit more about each other. Learning a little bit more about who you are and how you handle things. I'm just going to share this. They're not here, so don't worry. They were at first service. But I'm going to share just for a moment about my mom and dad. Right? So, my mom and dad have been married for a really long time now. Let's

see. I'm 43, but they've been married for 46 years now. And it's been fascinating to watch, for me, their marriage all of these years. Because they've been through a lot of ups and downs. And they've been through some really difficult things. One cancer diagnosis already, prior to this one. And it's been fascinating to watch them as they work through this cancer diagnosis. And my dad working through, sorry, I'm going to try here,

working through what he's gone through with pancreatic cancer. Because I have watched their marriage grow. It's fascinating as an adult and as a pastor to now watch my parents. And I've watched their marriage grow in different ways now. Because even though I would have at one point in time said, my parents are going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm

the perfect marriage. And in my mind, they always have had. Because they're just so wonderful for each other. And they're so perfect together. I've now watched God be in the process of fashioning them a little bit more into that oneness that God intends as they go through what potentially is the last cancer diagnosis. Because it's a process of becoming one. And it's all of the ups and it's all

of the downs in life. It's the good days and it's the bad days in life. It's the good days of marriage and it's the bad days of marriage. I shared this with first service. I may as well share it with you too. Because there are days where your marriage is the greatest thing that you could have ever imagined being a part of. And you think, how on earth does God let me have an eternal slumber

party with my best friend? Right? With a lot of fun benefits involved. Sorry, that's a bad joke. Anyway, how on earth has God allowed this to happen? Why would God gift me like this? This is the best thing ever. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm married. And then there's other days where you're going, I cannot believe. I have to have the same slumber party with the same person every day. I can't believe I'm married.

And you're finding yourself going, oh my gosh, that's not what I thought it was going to be like at all. He farts way more than I ever thought he was going to. Right? I share this with first service too. You guys may as well enjoy this sidebar here. So the first time that I ever farted in front of my wife, which by the way, I don't think you're actually supposed to use that

word from the pulpit. I may get fired after this. One of the board members goes, I almost fell out of my chair when you said that word from the pulpit. I'm like, I've built my ministry on saying things you're not supposed to say. Why stop now? So anyway, so there we were. First time I ever farted in front of Erin, we were in the spice aisle at Target. I don't remember if she was cooking something or if we were picking up some

supplies for her mom or what we were doing, but we're standing there and I had a little rumbly in the tumbly, you know what I'm talking about? And so I was like, okay, I think this thing will be okay. I can make this quiet. I in fact could not make it quiet. And, and that, that little rumbly came out and she just looked at me like, what did you just do? And I was like, little did she know it was only the beginning, right?

Because that's just life. So, so there's days where you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm married to this person because wow, what is going on here? But at the end of the day, you're in that process of becoming one. And it's a process that'll take the lifetime. But that process requires that commitment. That process requires the commitment of being, together. One of my favorite definitions of, well, I've got two really kind of favorite

definitions out of the book that I take people through. And, and one of them is this, when we do premarital counseling, one of them is this, it says, marriage is the ultimate curriculum for love and holiness. It is the ultimate curriculum for love and holiness, because this process of becoming one is just that. It is God's curriculum for you. To learn what love is supposed to look like and what holiness is intended to be.

My second favorite definition is this, marriage is the commitment. Hold on. I didn't write this one down. It is the unconditional commitment of two imperfect people. The unconditional commitment of two imperfect people. Brothers and sisters, marriage is of utmost importance. It's the bedrock for society. It's the bedrock for the church. Marriage is what teaches

the world what commitment is supposed to look like. It's what teaches the world what love is supposed to look like. It's what teaches our kids, what it means to feel secure. So these marriages that we're talking about are the utmost importance. And so, I pray that as we go through this series over these next couple of weeks, that these principles will will sink deeply into your hearts.

Amen? Let's all stand.

And if you'd bow with me.

Father, we come before you this morning. And Lord, I thank you for your word. I thank you that your word is always a lamp into our feet and a light into our paths. And Lord, I thank you that you have given us this great gift. Lord, that you have loved us enough to provide for us people to spend the rest of our lives with. And Father, I feel impressed upon this morning

to lift up those whose marriages are struggling right now. Father, who aren't sure if they'll make it through not only the end of this message, but even the end of the week. And Lord, I want to pray that you would begin to do the work that only your Holy Spirit could do in bringing them back together. Lord, I pray that you would help us to let go of our selfishness.

I pray that you would help us to let go of our pride, to let go of our pride, to leave behind the things that would keep us from being who you have called for us to be. And Lord, may we once again return to a covenant of faithfulness with you and a covenant of faithfulness with our spouses. Father, we thank and we praise you. In Jesus' name, amen. Be blessed.

Lord God, we just thank you for the day. We thank you for another opportunity just to lift praise to you and spend some time in your word. And as we leave here today, I just pray that your Holy Spirit go with us and continue to minister to our hearts, Lord. God, just do something awesome in our lives. God, because you're a mighty God and you're in the business of doing mighty things, God.

And again, Lord, we just lift up Israel today. We pray for the peace of Jerusalem. And we just ask that you just be there and protect them and bless them, Lord. And let's pray that their eyes will be opened to the truth of your son, Jesus. In Jesus' name, amen. You guys have a wonderful week. God bless you.