Kingdom Instructions Pt 3

with us. Would you join me in prayer? Father, we thank you for this opportunity that you give us to come and worship in song and study your word. Father, may we just sing as unto you, just let it go. You're so good to us, Lord. Bless our time now as we worship you in song, and we'll give you all the thanks in Jesus' name.

That makes us who you want us to be as we yield ourselves to you, and we thank you, Lord. You're such a good, good Father for sending your son, Jesus Christ, to die for us on the cross, Lord,

rising from the dead and ascending up there at the right hand of the Father, making intercession for us. Thank you, Lord Jesus. Father, we just stop right now and just want to say thank you. We just have things on our hearts sometimes, Lord, and we just need to say thank you that you're in control. And Father, in this world we're living in, Lord, help us realize and remember you are really in

control. And that which looks very, very confusing. Anything that's not of you, God, we know is confusing because you're not the author of confusion. And so confusion is used to cause, to make things crazy, to give reason, to bring about more confusion. But you're not the God of confusion. So, Lord, we look to you, and as we see confusion moving in our midst, Lord, we know behind it all you're still in control. Lord,

that you are the God of this. You're allowing certain things, but you're still in control. We give you praise, Lord. We don't have to worry, even though it's hard not to be anxious, son, sometimes, Lord. Help us, Lord Jesus. It's time when the giants come before us, Lord. Just like David, Lord, he said, I serve the Lord, the living God. And God was his strength when the giant came. You are our strength too, Lord.

In fact, you came down from glory for us, Lord. We thank you, Lord, for your praise. Continue to bless our service now, Lord, as we fellowship. And then Ryan puts out your word by the power of your Holy Spirit and move in his heart, Lord, in Jesus' name. Amen. God bless. Have some fellowship.

Good morning. If you could begin to locate your seat. Grab your bulletin. We'll get ready to go over some announcements. Over on the left-hand side of your bulletin are the things going on throughout the week, and those things should all be happening this week. So take notice. Some of the things that are happening. Over in the middle section of your bulletin,

some things to pay attention to. Just a reminder that August 4th through the 6th is the Pastors and Leaders Conference up at Calvary of Johnson County. I've put some little flyers up around here that talk about all the different things that'll be going on for that. Again, totally free to attend. You just have to cover yourself getting up there and having a place to stay.

And then we have another baptism coming up, and the date in your bulletin is wrong. It's it should be August 14th, not August the 11th. The poor girl that does our bulletin has to decipher my handwriting, and that's not the easiest thing in the world to do. I actually showed the person in the video booth, and they were like, totally saw why she wrote the 11th on that. So 6-8-30 out

at Camp Horizon. We'll do the exact same thing that we did over at the public pool, only out at Camp Horizon this time, meaning that afterwards, if you're not into swimming, there's also some different little things that you can do. So if you're not into swimming, there's also some that you can do. Although if the weather continues the way that it is, I can't imagine us wanting to do anything but be in a pool. So that's coming up August the 14th. And then, okay, so some things

are about to start changing around here a little bit, okay? I alluded to this a few weeks ago, but now it's time. The time has come. Starting tomorrow, some remodeling will begin to take place in this sanctuary. We want to expand this sanctuary a little bit. So basically, the sanctuary wall will move back. It's like 8-10 foot. It'll allow us to get about 50 or 60 or so

more chairs in here. The video booth will move to this side over here, and a sound booth will stay where it is, but it's going to allow for some more people to be in here. But that will mean a couple of other changes have to take place in the building because we're kind of running out of room for rooms in this building. The current nursery, follow me here, okay? I may have to put this on a program

next week. Or send out an email that says all this again. The current nursery will be moving to where the nursing mother's room is. So what is currently the nursing mother's room will become the nursery. What is currently the library will become the nursing mother's room. And then what's left of our nursery over there will be the kid check-in area eventually. It'll take two or three weeks

to where we're ready for that part of it. But that's the goal. Again, I'll probably send all of this out on Flocknote in an email just to... Kind of remind everyone I will not draw you a picture because if you think my handwriting is bad, you ought to see me draw something. But that's what's coming up. So bear with us for the next three or four weeks because while the sanctuary will be available, we'll be able to meet in here.

There will be probably some plastic up. It'll be a little bit of a job site, but it's going to be fun because when all is said and done, this place is going to be a little bit bigger. We'll fit more people in here, and I'm pretty excited about it. So that's what's coming up. Be praying for everything that goes into that because you know what happens when you remodel.

Old Pastor Mark used to have a saying, you never just do anything. And I know that that's always the case when it comes to remodeling. So just pray that everything goes smoothly where remodeling is concerned. So those are the things that are going on. If you would make sure that your mobile device is silenced. And for our responsive reading this morning, we are going to be in Psalm 17.

Psalm 17. Looking at the New American Standard. If you need a copy, should be one in your row. And as you are turning to Psalm 17, and as Pastor Allen is on his way up, if you would stand in the honor of the reading of God's Word. Psalm 17. I will read the odd verses if you will follow along with Pastor Allen in the even verses.

To my cry, give ear to my prayer, which is not from deceitful lips. Let my judgment come forth from your presence. Let your eyes look with equity. You have tried my heart. visited me by night. You have tested me and you find nothing. I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress. As for the deeds of men, by the word of your lips, I have kept from the paths of

the violent. My steps have held fast to your paths. My feet have not slipped. I have called upon you for you will answer me, O God. Incline your ear to me. Hear my speech. Wondrously show your loving kindness, O Savior of those who take refuge at your right hand, from those who rise up against them. Keep me as the apple of the eye. Hide me in the shadow of your wings. From the wicked who

despoil me, my deadly enemies who surround me. They have closed their unfeeling heart. With their mouth they speak proudly. They have now surrounded us in our steps. They have set their eyes to cast us down to the ground. Just like a lion that is eager to tear and as a young lion lurking in hiding places. Arise, O Lord, confront him. Bring him low. Deliver my soul from the wicked with your sword. From men with your

hand, O Lord, from men of the world whose portion is in this life and whose belly you fill with your treasure. They are satisfied with children and leave their abundance to their babes. And read verse 15 with me. As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness. I will be satisfied with your likeness when I awake. And Lord, we do look forward to that day when we awake in your presence and we are completely

satisfied with the knowledge of you. And so Lord, do your work in our hearts this morning. I ask that your Holy Spirit would do what only your Holy Spirit could do in leading us close to you. Father, convict us, encourage us, and instruct us. If we don't hear from you this morning, then there's just no point in us being here. So Lord, speak to us, we pray. In Jesus' name. Amen. You may be seated. And if you would, open up in your

Bibles to the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 19. Matthew, chapter 19. I was thinking about this the other day as I was preparing and thinking and all the different things that were on part three of kingdom instructions, by the way, that when I started these kingdom instructions, I should have opened up with a disclaimer. These are hard things we'll cover over these next few weeks. We've covered a couple of hard things as it is. Anytime you have to talk, first of all,

about humility and dependence, that's a hard thing to talk about because it's very opposed to who we are by nature. But then we moved into another very difficult subject, the difficult subject of confrontation and forgiveness. Well, if those two are difficult, well, then we're about to hit the pinnacle today because we deal with a very difficult subject, the subject of marriage and divorce. I'm well aware of the fact that as I look out over any room of people, whether it's in a church, whether it's at a coffee shop, whether it's in a home, it's hard to find anyone that has not been affected by divorce. It's an issue that has plagued our nation. It's an issue that's plagued

our world. And quite frankly, it's an issue that plagues the church. And so as we move into this study on divorce and marriage, I want us to understand that there's a lot of things that I will not come at it from a place of condemnation because God is a God of restoration. I will start that way and I will end that way because that's who God is. He restores the broken, he heals the

broken, and he takes that which the enemy has sought to destroy and he turns it into something absolutely beautiful. But there are biblical principles that need to be addressed with these things because if we don't have these biblical principles addressed, then our world, and quite frankly, our church, continues to live in the sin that God has never intended. So as we move into chapter 19 with this subject of marriage and divorce, there's three things that we'll look at. We'll see that there's a test, there's the answers, and then there's a conclusion. So we start off in chapter 19, verse 1, with the test. Notice what it

says. When Jesus had finished these words, he departed from Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to Jesus testing him and asking, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all? Now it starts off with what I would call a little transitionary verse

because Jesus has wrapped up what's taken place in chapter 18 and he's actually moving towards the cross at this point in time. We're sort of drawing towards the close of Jesus's, earthly ministry because quite frankly, in a couple of chapters, we're going to see the triumphal entry. And so really he's journeying towards the cross, but ultimately he's journeying towards Jerusalem. And as he does so, he comes to the land of Judea beyond the Jordan and he does what he does everywhere he goes. Jesus ministers to people. It says that once he had reached Judea

beyond the Jordan, that multitudes came to him. And did you take note of what it says he did with the multitudes? It says he healed them there. And so once again, here's Jesus doing exactly that. Exactly what Jesus does, living out exactly what he taught, living out exactly who he has told the disciples that they need to be in love and forgiveness in ministry and in servanthood.

And as he's in this process of healing, as he's in the process of ministry, the Pharisees come to him with a test. Now it's interesting because the word test in the Greek can really be translated two different ways. It can either be translated a test, something that tests you, or it can be translated a temptation. And really the greater understanding of the word test here would be the understanding of the fact that they were seeking to tempt him because they wanted him to fall into some sort of sin. And isn't it just like the enemy that when you are in a place of being used by God,

he seeks to test you. He seeks to tempt you, to pull you away from that which is important, ministering to people, to get you distracted by some debate that may come up. And so Jesus, is going to have to deal with this. And we'll see the way that he deals with it, which is exactly how you should by using the word of God and getting back to the main point. But I get ahead of myself.

There's the test. And this is how they tested him. This is how they tempted him. They did so with a question. It says some Pharisees, verse three, came to Jesus, testing him and asking him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all? A hotly contested issue of that day. I always think it's funny when we, as human beings find ourselves saying, I wish it was the

way that it was in the olden days when people didn't deal with all of the sins that we deal with today. Listen, I've got news for all of us. There's never been such a thing as the olden days when we didn't deal with the sins that we deal with today, because it's hard to get a whole lot older than where we are right now in scripture. And they're still dealing with, wait for it, the sins that we're dealing with today. So when we find ourselves saying, gosh, I just wish it

was the way that it used to be. Why? So that it can be the way that we're dealing with today. It can be the way that it is right now, because sin is sin, no matter what decade it's in. And that's what they're dealing with here, because divorce was a hotly contested issue at this point in time. You see, there were two main schools of thought when it came to divorce. But before I get

to those schools of thought, we must understand Jewish people held marriage in very high regard. As a matter of fact, a man who had reached his twenties without being married was considered to be living in sin, at least among the Jewish people at that point in time, because that's how high a regard marriage was held in. The problem, and I didn't come up with this, David Guzik did. The problem is women were not held in high regard. Marriage was important. Women were not. And

because of that, men oftentimes found that they stretched scripture to say what they wanted it to say and gave just about any reason for divorce. You see, in Deuteronomy, and I don't want you to turn there, but I did reference it so that you could perhaps write it in the margin of your Bible. In Deuteronomy chapter 24, verse one, there is an allowance for divorce that's given by Moses. It is, in my opinion, if you really read the scripture, actually a protection for the woman, but there is the permitting of a certificate of divorce at that point in time. It says,

a man may write his wife a certificate of divorce if he finds some sort of uncleanness in her. You know as well as I do that all we need is a reason, right? All we need is a reason for our sin. All I need is an excuse for my sin. And so there were two different schools of thought on what this verse meant. Did this verse mean that the only kind of uncleanness that permitted divorce was

the uncleanness of sexual immorality? Or was there a much broader understanding of uncleanness? There was one particular rabbi, we'll call him the conservative in the group, who said the only reason for divorce was to have a divorce. And so there was a very broad understanding of uncleanness. The only reason for divorce was sexual immorality because that's the uncleanness that was mentioned

here. That's what was intended. Then there was another rabbi, we'll call him more liberal in his thinking, who said uncleanness could be just about anything. It could be the fact that you don't like the way that your wife speaks about your mother. It could be the fact that you don't like the way that your wife cooks. And I'm not making this up. There's actually a rabbinical

writing that says it, that if a man finds another woman who he finds uncleanness, then he can be more fair than the wife that he's married to. He is found in uncleanness in his wife and can write her a certificate of divorce and marry the woman that he has found to be more fair. Sounds kind of like today, doesn't it? Sounds like the same hotly contested issues of today. We have irreconcilable

differences. In other words, I don't want to make it work. I don't like the way that she talks. I don't like the way that she talks. I don't like the way that she talks. I don't like the way that he smells. I don't like the way that she acts. I don't like the way that he doesn't love me. Whatever it is, we come up with all kinds of reasons and we say, that's an uncleanness. I'm going to go get

a divorce. So the test that they're testing him with is this, who is Jesus going to side with in his understanding of this verse? They said, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for, and the reason? Because you see, if he says, yes, it's lawful to divorce your wife for any reason, why then he is taking the more liberal approach and the Pharisees who were very conservative in their understanding of the law had reason to accuse him. If he took the other stance, that makes him

very unpopular amongst the people. It may even cause him issues with Herod in the same way that John the Baptist had issues with Herod. In their minds, they had just come up with the perfect temptation for Jesus to screw up. You can imagine how they all formulated this, right? How are we going to get him this time? He seems to get this every single time. I know, we'll ask him

about divorce. This will really mess with him because this is probably the most hotly contested issue in Judaism today. He'll never be able to get this right. He'll be unpopular on some end and we'll have a way to catch him. But what they forgot was Jesus wrote the law. Because it came from him, right? And so they didn't take that into account. And so as they

test him with this question, Jesus comes at them with an answer. And I love the way that Jesus answered. Notice what it says in verse four. And he answered and said, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two, shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore,

what God has joined together, let no man separate. They said to him, why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away? He said to them, because of the hardness of your heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning, it has not been that way. And I say to you, why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and

you. Whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery. Let's unpack these answers that Jesus gave. I appreciate the way that Jesus started off. He says, have you not read? Now, these are Pharisees. They made their life the study of the Old Testament. They made their life the study of the law and the prophets. Of course,

they had read. But Jesus does exactly what you and I should do when somebody tries to pull us into a debate on opinion. We must go back to the unchanging truth of the Word of God, not the constantly changing truth of opinion. Because you know what I oftentimes find? My opinion does not agree with the Word of God. And so, do you know what needs to change? My opinion. It happens to me all the time. Part of what makes some of these subjects so hard to

teach is that we have opinions deeply rooted in us based on our history, our experiences, and the way that we grew up. We have those opinions deeply rooted in us. And when we read something in Scripture that goes against that opinion, what's the first thing that we say? Well, I must be reading that wrong. Let me study that a little bit deeper. I think clearly I'm misunderstanding the very plain

passage of Scripture. And so, Jesus does exactly what he should do. He takes them back to the Scripture. And when he takes them back to the Scripture, he doesn't just take them back to the law. He takes them back to the law. He takes them back to the Scripture. He takes them back to the beginning, to the original institution of marriage. And he tells them several things. There are several

phrases that stuck out to me. Number one was the phrase, he created them male and female. I'll discuss why that's important in just a moment as I draw some conclusions from this passage. He says, in the beginning, he created them male and female. Why is that important? Well, beyond what I'm going to bring up here in just a minute is this. If God created us, then he has the right to make the rules

for us. Right? If God created me, then he has the right to tell me the way that I'm supposed to live my life because I am his creation, not my own. The words of Psalm 100 have been running through my head this week. We are his people and the sheep of his pasture. Right? And so, he says, he created them male and female and said, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother. Now,

when this original marriage was given, it was Adam in the garden all by himself. Adam was there just chilling, hanging out all by his onesies and had no other buddy. Everybody else had a buddy. All the other animals had a buddy. And God said, tend the garden, name the animals. And Adam's going, everybody's got a buddy except me. And God goes, everybody has a buddy except him. It's not

good that man should be alone. And so, God said, I will create a helper that is suitable, for him. So, he put him to sleep, took of his rib, and from that rib, he made woman. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. I will call her woman for she was taken out of man. And then that command was given. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother

and be joined to his wife. Now, this word leave is really important because this word leave means to forsake or to leave behind. What does that mean? Well, in its direct context, because of the way that the Jewish people lived at that time, the Jewish people lived at that time, the Jewish people at that point in time, living in their father's house until they were married, living under the father's authority until they were married, the idea is you forsake or you leave behind the protection and the influence of your father's house. Brothers and sisters, many a marriage has

been destroyed because there was no leaving of the father's house, whether it be the man or the woman. There was no leaving behind the family influence. I've actually worked with couples before where they would not get past the fact that they spend all of their time with their own family and not with their husband or wife, that they were so brokenhearted to leave their family that they could never join themselves to their spouse. Why? Because they were not willing to follow this first

command to leave the family behind. Because you now are starting a new family of your own. You leave behind in this direct context, the influence and protection of your father's house. But in a broader context that I think speaks to today's context is this, you must leave behind the single life. Because many a marriage is also being destroyed because a guy will not quit hanging

out with his friends all the time and go spend time with his wife. Listen, sometimes you got to get off the golf course and go spend time with your wife. Sometimes, and may I say all the time, you need to get out of the bar with your friends and go spend time with your wife. You need to leave all of those things behind and spend time with your spouse. Many a marriage is

being ruined right now because they have not left behind the single life and you're still flirting with a flame from the past. And because of that, you can't really be joined to your wife because you're still flirting with somebody else. And if that's you, it's time to stop. Delete the media app, delete the messaging app, delete the number, whatever it is, that can't happen anymore. I'll

never forget somebody telling me, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to When I was a young single guy in college, they said men and women cannot be close friends outside of a marriage relationship. Now, I am someone who grew up around all girls and had a

lot of friends that were girls. And you know what I've learned? That's the truest statement anybody's ever said about marriage. Because my closest friend now that's a female is my wife. And I'm not going to go do anything with any other woman besides her. Why? Because I have left my single life behind. And I'm now with her. I'm amazed at how many couples are not doing that today. There should

be a leaving behind of that single life. But then there's a third phrase that's used that I think that's really important. And that phrase is, shall be joined to his wife. That word joined to is a great word in the Hebrew. That word joined to means to adhere to like glue. In other words, once the two of you are married, you are stuck together. Now, you can take that in one of two ways. You can take that as you're stuck together because

there's no pulling you apart. Or you can take that as you are stuck together, right? I hope you take it the first way. If you've taken it the second way, I'll probably talk to you in just a minute. But you're adhered to each other now, right? That means nothing can come between the two of you. And nothing should come between the two of you, right? A good friend of mine that passed away a

long time ago. That poured into my life a lot. It was a guy by the name of Truman Page that lived in the retirement community where I took care of the yard. Somebody told me one time, you should go talk to Truman because I think he teaches at some Bible college or something like that. Well, Truman was the professor of Old Testament survey at Calvary Bible College and

Theological Seminary. He had more degrees than a thermometer. And the guy was a genius and yet so humble. He knew so much about God's word. And I learned so much from him. And his wife had passed away several years before I had ever met him. And he would hang out in his apartment by himself and read his Bible. And so I'd go on my break and I'd go talk to him and say, teach me things I need to

know. When I got married, he gave me a piece of paper. And that piece of paper was from the desk of Truman Page. And it said, Truman Page's top 10 rules for a happy marriage. I am so sad that over some moves, I have lost that piece of paper. However, two of those rules have always stuck in my mind. And the first rule that's always stuck in my mind is never yell at each other unless the house is on

fire. And I always thought that was a great rule. And what was really funny is when he was telling me about this rule, he goes, I think it was number four or five down the list. He goes, that one's there because I was married to a redhead and we had to really pay attention to that one. I just thought that was hilarious, right? Anyway, but the other rule, which is what I really want to point

out to you is this. He said, if you ever have the choice between spending time with your friends and spending time with your wife, always choose your wife. Why? Because you are joined together. My best friend in the world is my wife. I don't want to spend time with anybody else in the world besides her. All the rest of you are wonderful people and I enjoy talking to you, but I want to

spend all of my time with her. Somebody asked us after we did premarital counseling with a couple here a few years ago, we said, okay, what questions do you have for us? And they said, is the first year really the hardest? Is it the first year that you're going to spend time with your wife? Is it the first year that you're going to spend time with your wife? Is it the first year that you're

going to spend time with your wife? And for us, it was not. I know for some people it is because you're learning to be joined together, to leave behind the single life. For us, it wasn't because we were best friends and it's like, I got to be roommates with my best friend. I didn't have to go home at night, which was awesome. For us, the hardest year that we had was when my oldest

daughter was born because all of a sudden now we had to split our time with her. We couldn't just spend time with each other all the time. We also had to say, okay, well, one of us is going to have to take care of the kid, right? And we had to split our time with her. And we had to split our time with her. And we had to split our time with her. And we had to split our time with her. And we had to

split our time with her. And we had to split our time with her. And so that was kind of our hardest year. And once we adjusted to it, we were fine. That's when we started going on drives is because she would nap in the back seat and we could talk to each other. And so that's kind of when that all started for us. But the idea is that you're to be joined together. There's no longer

two of you. There's now one of you, which brings me to the fourth really important statement that Jesus made. Notice what it says. And they shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. One of the cheesiest things that's ever happened in pop culture today was when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married. Do you remember what they started calling them when they got together?

They started calling them Brangelina, right? Do you guys remember that? Now, when you first hear that, you're like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Yet, I kind of think that's the idea behind the fact that the two become one flesh. There's no longer two of you. There's one of you. Because you are one flesh. There's no longer two of you. There's one of you. Because you

are one flesh. There's no longer two of you. There's one of you. Because you are one flesh. You are one singular unit now. That means that you don't each go pursue your own dreams. I can't believe how many movies I watch where they're like, but my dream's leading me to California. My dream's leading me to New York. Then one of you is going to have to die to yourself.

Because being married, being joined together, becoming one flesh means you no longer have two separate dreams. It means you're pursuing life together. And if your dreams are separate, you better figure out how you're going to die to yourselves and come back to life together. Come back together as one. Because that's not biblical. And so, he says the two shall become

one flesh. And then notice this last part. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Let no man separate. No one's supposed to break that up. No one's supposed to break that apart. That is God's ideal for marriage. Now, from this, I've drawn about five different things that we learn. About marriage. The first one I'm going to throw in there is probably going to get me in trouble,

but I'm going to say it anyway. Number one, there are only two genders. Now, listen, this is going to get me in trouble one of these days. I know it is. Because that just went up on the Facebook machine and it went up in print, meaning it might have just got shut down. I don't know. But there's only two genders. Did you take note of that? It says, have you not

read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? Now, I don't say this, so that we will make fun of all the people that think that there's all kinds of different genders because we should not do that. Because the people living in a life of transgenderism, listen, are lost. They are still created in the image of God. They are still individuals that Jesus

loved enough to come die for. And we have to remember that. We cannot have a mocking tone like it's so easy, and it's easy for me too. We cannot have a mocking tone towards the transgender culture that is around us. We cannot have a mocking tone towards the transgender culture that is around us. Because they are sinners who are lost. Just like you and I, before we came to Jesus, were sinners

who were lost. Their sin is no uglier to Jesus than ours. And we must, as a nation, we must, as a church, not only be praying for folks caught up in that lifestyle, but be willing to reach out to folks that are caught up in that lifestyle. Because listen, as this continues to progress, if Jesus tarries and doesn't come back, we're going to be caught up in that lifestyle.

If he doesn't come take us home, eventually some of these folks caught up in this lifestyle, they're going to hit rock bottom. Because they'll find that they still have no identity. And they'll find that they still need someone to show them love. And if we as the church have only been condemning and mocking towards them, we will not be able then to have the witness to come alongside them and say, let me tell you about Jesus.

And so we have to have the right heart when it comes to this. But I believe that this is a point that has to be made according to what Jesus points out right here in scripture. Number two, marriage is God's institution. Marriage is God's institution. As a matter of fact, it's the very first human institution that God gave to us. And because marriage is God's

institution, we should not only hold it in high regard, but we should pay attention to the rules that he makes for it. God created this institution. To not only be the perfect symbol of love, to be the perfect symbol of his desire and his care for the church, a perfect picture of the gospel, but it is the ultimate curriculum of love that he will take us through. You see, I define marriage like this, two imperfect people committed to loving each other for life. Because that's what marriage is, and it's God's institution. Therefore, we must

pay attention to what God has to say. And quite frankly, if we ever want society to be the way that God intends for it to be, it has to start within the home, a strong marriage that is glorifying God in everything that it does. And if I was an enemy, an enemy of the faith, the first thing I would do is I would tear down the home, and I would tear down marriage. Kind of interesting, isn't it? That's exactly what's

happening. Do you know that one of the first ways that enemies seek to tear down other cultures, is to first of all, tear down the family unit, so that you are dependent upon them, no longer your family? It's kind of interesting to see what's happening in our country, isn't it? Number three, marriage is intended to be between one man and one woman. There I go again. It's going to get me in

trouble, but it has to be said. God defined marriage for us. Jesus defined it for us right here. You oftentimes hear people say, but Jesus never spoke about same-sex marriage in the gospels. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. Again, I say this, not that we will have a mocking tone towards those who are living that

lifestyle, but so that we will understand the truth and are armed with the truth, so that we can go out and love and be ready to share the truth with those who have found that their lifestyle that they're living still is not offering them the hope and the love that they need. Number four, marriage means commitment. Marriage means commitment. That means that there's going to be some days where everything is wonderful, and it's going to be the greatest experience you ever had in your life. You guys know this. Some days are sunshine, roses, and butterflies are everywhere,

right? And then other days you're going, wow, there it is. That's marriage. That's trying to make it work, because today is a bad day. But you see, that commitment is always there. That commitment says, no matter what's happening in my marriage, I am committed to making it work. One time, believe it or not, and it was hard to believe, one time my wife and I got into a little

spat. Only once, though. That's a joke. I'm not serious about it. We have argued more than that. We are both very strong-headed people. One of those times, my wife and I got into a spat, and one of my daughters, I don't remember which one it was, looked at us and said, are you guys going to get a divorce now? And we looked at them, and we said, here's what you need to know. Mommy and Daddy are committed

to each other for life. The only thing that's going to separate this is death. I'm stuck with her. She's stuck with me. We're not going anywhere. We have to work through issues sometimes, and we let you see that so that you know that life's not always sunshine and roses. Sometimes, there's bad things that happen, and we have to work through them. But Mommy and Daddy are committed

to loving each other for life. And they were like, good. It's relieving, but that commitment says that when it gets hard, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to have to stick this thing out, and I'm going to fight for it, because this is a perfect picture of Christ in the church. And the fact that just because I fail doesn't mean that Jesus just leaves me. It means that He continues to fight for me.

Number five, marriage is for life. That's it. Marriage is for life. There's not a whole lot of other explanation that needs to be given to that other than the fact that I will say, having done a lot of funerals for those who have lost spouses, there is nothing quite like hearing a spouse speak about their spouse that has passed away. The love that flows from their

heart is the love that flows from their heart. It's the love that flows from their heart. When you hear the stories of a life spent together, a life that was full of ups and downs, a life that was full of difficulties, there's just nothing like it. Why? Because they were married for life. And so Jesus takes them back to the beginning, takes them back to Scripture and says,

have you not read what Scripture has to say? Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate. Now, you would think at this point in time, they would be like, you're right. We should quit thinking about divorce. We should instead be focused on our marriages. They, of course, don't do that. So they say to Him, why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce

and send her away? This was their ultimate mic drop moment because they thought, yes, that is the definition of marriage. So why did Moses command us to give a certificate of divorce? Got him on that one. He ain't coming back from that one. Right? And Jesus looks and He goes, because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning, it has not been this way.

I want you to take note of how He answers them. The first word I want you to take note of is the word, permitted. It's right there in the middle of the verse. Because of the hardness of your heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives. Why is that word important? Because it's the very opposite of the word that they used. Did you notice what word they used? They said,

then why did Moses command us to write her a certificate of divorce? And Jesus said, Moses permitted you to write her a certificate of divorce. You see, there is, there is God's perfect will, and then there is God's permissive will. And this permitting to write a certificate of divorce is God's permissive will, not His perfect will. And then He goes on to explain why He permitted them to write a certificate of divorce. Actually,

it starts right before the word permitted. Because of your hardness of heart. To me, that is a dagger. To the heart of anyone who would make an excuse. Because of the hardness of your heart. In other words, because your heart is so hard towards the truth of God's Word, towards the principle of marriage, He permitted you to divorce your wives. Let me put it to you in another way. Divorce

is the conclusion of a relationship that has fallen into unrepentant, sin. Divorce is the conclusion of a relationship that has fallen into unrepentant, sin. It's the last straw. When sin has taken place in a relationship, and there is a lack of repentance of that sin, then ultimately it ends up leading to a divorce. And listen, the unrepentant of sin can either be the offending party,

or the offended party. You see, sometimes the offending party, whether it's the one who has cheated on their spouse, or abused their spouse, or not been supportive, loving, you name the reason, there is some sort of a sin that has taken place there. And sometimes the offending party will not repent of the sin. No matter how many different times it's brought up, no matter how many different times it's mentioned, they will not repent of the sin.

And they are a serial abuser. They are a serial cheater. You, it's unrepentant of sin, to where ultimately it spirals into the conclusion of, I just can't go on like this any longer, because you refuse to repent of sin. This can't continue. But we need to understand something. This can also take place on the part of the offended party, because I've seen it happen this way too. Party A does something

very offensive. You name the sin. Party B finds out about it. It gets revealed. It gets revealed. It gets uncovered. Party B can never forgive. They will always hold on to that unforgiveness. They will always hold on to that bitterness. And they finally just say, I can't forgive you, even though party A has repented of the sin. The bitterness is so great on the part of the other. They're not following the principles

that Jesus laid out in the previous chapter, that you should forgive somebody 70 times 7 of the same offense. You see, the pendulum swings both ways. But when sin is unrepentant of, then it ends up in a hardness of heart. And that hardness of heart is why Moses, in the law, permitted divorce. But I want you to notice the caveat that Jesus threw in there. He said, end of

verse 8, but from the beginning, it has not been this way. In other words, it's not God's perfect plan. Jesus goes on from there to give a command that's kind of interesting and sort of adds a little bit to what the Old Testament had to say. He says in verse 9, If you will, Jesus does side with the more conservative leaning on this, that uncleanness is sexual immorality.

That word sexual immorality there is the Greek word pornea. Clearly, it's where we get our word pornography from, but it carries with it the idea of any sort of sexual immorality. There's a wide gamut that's used here, any type of unfaithfulness that's used here to say that Jesus says that if anyone divorces another, I want to read this to you and leave one little exception out. Verse 9, And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife and marries another, he will not divorce her. He will not divorce her. He will not divorce her.

Another woman commits adultery. That's the point that's put there. The exception clause is right there in the middle, except for sexual immorality. The reason why is because when a divorce takes place, in the state's eyes, that marriage may be dissolved, but in God's eyes, it may not be dissolved. When sexual immorality takes place in God's eyes, it is at that point in time dissolved, but until then, you're still married in God's eyes.

Therefore, if you divorce one and marry another, you commit adultery. You commit adultery unless there has been that breaking of the marriage bond through sexual immorality. This is the part I would like to take out of Scripture, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I'm about to have to deal with is a lot of questions. So what does that mean for me? Because I know that there are people who are dealing with

this issue right now. There are people who have dealt with this issue and have done this in the past. And now there's difficulties. Difficult questions that need answered. I've come up with three of them that I think are important to pay attention to. Jesus here seems to include the fact that the main biblical grounds for divorce is sexual immorality. That's the biblical grounds for a divorce

and a remarrying. Paul adds on to that in 1 Corinthians 7 when he says, If an unbelieving spouse is not willing to live with you, you may let them go. But if I remember correctly in 1 Corinthians 7, it says, and you remain single. And so there is another biblical grounds for divorce, but it brings up all kinds of questions, does it not? I bet you've got a ton of them swirling in your

head right now. I've sort of shrunk it down to about three questions that I think need to be answered when it comes to this idea of divorce and remarrying. Number one, what about the case of an abusive relationship? What if there's a woman living with a husband who uses her as a punching bag all the time? What if there's a woman living with a husband who uses her as a verbal punching bag all the time? What if, and we've learned this recently,

what if there's a husband living with a wife who abuses him? Are you saying, Ryan, that that is not a grounds for divorce? Now, I've labored with this question this whole week with different commentators that I've read. Last night, I was reading the Preaching the Word commentary, by R. Kent Hughes, and I found what he had to say very interesting, and I think important to us.

He said, We cannot with this command now become Pharisees, because many a misguided Christian over the years has counseled those in abusive relationships to say, until sexual immorality takes place, you must remain in that marriage. He said, to me, that's Pharisaical, because you are disregarding the weightier matters of the law, like mercy. And justice. So what happens if you're living in an abusive relationship? Get out. I think it should

start with a separation, a legal separation. I still think divorce needs to be your last, the very last thing that takes place. It is the last thing I will ever counsel a couple to do. As a matter of fact, I've never counseled a couple to get divorced. But it may have to start with a legal separation. It may have to start with saying, until we can clear our minds, we're not going to

some things up, and we can both get a right head. We cannot be in the same house, because I cannot be in that place. And ladies, especially, if you're living in a place where you're being abused, then you need to get out. And listen, you need to stop defending the abuser. Because God would not have you to stick around and be a punching bag, because he is a God of love,

mercy, and justice. And so I believe at that point in time, you are free to get a divorce. Because God is not one. That, excuse me, if that sin is unrepented of, even in the separation, at that point in time, you're free to get a divorce. Because God would not have you to continue in that situation. And I feel confident in saying that from the pulpit. I'm not saying you should then go out and remarry

the very first person that comes along, because there's some concern there. But I don't believe God would have you continue in that relationship. And with that comes the idea of what if you live with somebody who continues to abuse? Substances. What if your husband or your wife is an alcoholic? What if your husband or wife is a drug addict? What do you do then? Are you saying that that's not biblical grounds for

divorce? Not yet. I think you follow the same thing that you would with someone who is physically or verbally abusive. I think it starts off with some kind of a separation. You need to say, we can't be together until you can deal with this sin. I'm willing to work on it, but you got to go to counseling. Detox, whatever it is, I'm willing to stick with you, but you have to stop what you're doing right

now. But listen, sometimes there comes a point in time where hard decisions have to be made. And God would not have you to stick around and have your bank account drained, because that's exactly what those who abuse substances oftentimes do, while they go and you enable them to live that lifestyle. That brings up the second, second question. I know and understand that there are some who have done it the wrong way the first

time. You got the divorce for unbiblical reasons. You have since remarried. And now there's probably a question in your mind. Does this mean I'm living in a state of adultery because I did not go about things the right way? Does it mean I will always live in a perpetual state of sin? No. Just like the one who has committed any other sin is not living in a perpetual state of sin. I'm living in

a perpetual state of sin. If that's you, if you have had that divorce for unbiblical reasons and now you're married to another, you must acknowledge that what you did was wrong. Sometimes that's even to an ex-spouse. Sometimes that's even to somebody from the past to say, hey, listen, I divorced you and it was wrong of me. I know that the way I handled things was unbiblical. I know that the

way I handled things was wrong. And I just want to confess my sin and apologize to you. And once you've acknowledged sin and confessed sin, you can live with the fact that your sin has been forgiven. And now live in the marriage that you're in now in faithfulness. It also does not mean that you should end the marriage you're in now and go back and marry your first wife. That's dumb.

That's compounding sin. That's compounding one sin upon another. It's a bad idea. And that brings me to the third question. Is divorce the unforgivable sin? This is a legit question that people have sometimes. It is not. God is a God of healing and God is a God of restoration. God takes that which has been broken through sin in the world and he creates something brand new and beautiful out of it. There are lessons learned because you

made mistakes in the past, but divorce is not the unforgivable sin. God can still move in the midst of one who has gone through it. God can still move in the midst of one who has gone through it. God can still move in the midst of one who has gone through that. And God still wants to use you in a very powerful way. And so after we've dealt with that, after Jesus lays out this really strong

statement about divorce, there's one more thing I want to say. Sorry, this just occurred to me as I'm reading this. Oftentimes people say, therefore, if immorality, sexual immorality takes place within my marriage, I am commanded at that point in time, I have to divorce my spouse. That's not true. That is not true. Because sometimes God wants to forgive and heal that relationship. And I bring

that up because it still is too easy for us to go get a divorce. It's too easy to end the marriage. Well, you don't understand. They cheated on me one time. Have you ever read the book of Hosea? God's really big on restoring relationships. God's really big on that sort of thing. And we must understand that sometimes God still wants to work a miracle. Now, if it's a serial issue and there's no repentance, I understand. But just because

sin has occurred does not mean that the divorce has to take place. Maybe you need to fight for it. Maybe God wants to bring healing. That's my last statement on that. We move on and the disciples have a question for Jesus. I love this because they're just dudes, right? These are not the most spiritual human beings on the face of the earth. God makes them spiritual beings because

he's gracious. Disciples said to him, this is the conclusion, by the way. If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry. I can't help it. That's really funny. They're like, dude, that's really hard. Are you saying there's no way out? Are you saying I have to be committed for life? It may be better if I don't even marry. I don't know why I just find that really funny. They're

just like, wow, that's a really hard statement. He said to them, not all men, except this, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb. And there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men. And there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to

accept this, let him accept it. His disciples are like, dude, if that's how intense marriage is, then I'm not sure marriage is for me. I'm not sure that it's really a good idea to marry. And listen, may I say to anyone that is single and pursuing a marriage, that's a really good thought to go into it with because you need to understand this is serious business and it is a lifelong commitment. I start off all my premarital counseling

sessions the same way. I've lost the card, but I can quote the card now. Very first marriage that I ever performed where I did everything. I did all the counseling and everything like that. I had lots of conversations with this couple. And I still love these folks to this day, but I had lots of conversations with this couple. And I still love these folks to this

day, but I had lots of conversations with this couple. Divorce isn't an option, right? Nope, divorce isn't an option. There were lots of people, marriage issues and people getting divorced around the time that I was doing their counseling. And I wanted to make sure that they were ready. And I had my own reservations in my heart, but I was young and I was new.

So she wrote me this card. Dear Ryan, thanks for all that stupid homework you made us do. It was really good. We really appreciated it. If this is the only marriage that you'll do, you'll be batting a thousand because the only way this ends is in death. We'll never get a divorce. Love, can I read them that card? And I set it down and I say, and we all kind of chuckle a little bit. And then I say, they're divorced. And everybody goes,

I say, I take what we do here seriously because that was on my record. Because I know that I prepared a couple to be married to each other for life. And I didn't prepare them well enough. And so what we do here is serious. We laugh and we have fun. But you need to know that you entered into a very serious covenant that I also take very seriously. And I think if more young people, when pursuing a spouse, took it that seriously,

we might see fewer divorces. J. Vernon McGee always has an interesting perspective on this. He says, now, Fran, it's about the only way I can quote him. But anyway, now, Fran, the real marriage is not a marriage. It's not a marriage. It's not a marriage. It's not a marriage. mistake is not made when someone gets divorced. The real mistake comes when two people that should

never be married get married. Pay attention to the mistake at the beginning and you'll never make the mistake at the end. I've always found that to be really good advice. So Jesus says, hey, listen, some people can accept that. Some people are made eunuchs from birth. They just never have that desire. Some people are made eunuchs. In other words, no sexual desire through kings. Some people

make themselves that way so that they can stay focused on the kingdom. But not everybody can do that. The idea is live as you're called. If you're single, live single and serve God wholeheartedly. If you're married, live married and serve God wholeheartedly. But do that which will prevent the most distractions in your life. Well, we then wrap it up with this. Verse 13, then some children

were brought to him, meaning Jesus, still in this same area, so that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, let the little children alone and do not hinder them from coming to me. For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. And after laying his hands on them, he departed from there. I find that this little section ends in a very interesting way

because it ends in the same way that chapter 18 began. And that's what the understanding of what it looks like to be a part of the kingdom of God. Because all these people are bringing children to Jesus. Laying his hands on them, praying for them. It's a beautiful scene. But of course, the disciples are looking and going, kids. And they rebuked them. And Jesus says, no, let the little children come

to me because of such is the kingdom of heaven. Ryan, why are you ending a talk on marriage and divorce with little children in the kingdom of heaven? Because I think sometimes if those of us as wise, grown adults in marriage, we're not going to be able to do that. We're not going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to

become a little bit more childlike, humbly dependent upon our father than our marriages might not end in divorce. Because you see, brothers and sisters, the only thing that holds our marriages together is not just my commitment to my spouse. It's my dependence upon my father. You see, humble dependence upon the savior of my soul is what will bond my marriage together stronger than anything else.

else in the world. One of the first things I always show couples when I do counseling with them, whether it's premarital counseling or, hey, our marriage is in trouble, we need some counseling, is I show them the triangle, right? God is at the top of the triangle. You guys are at the bottom of the triangle. The more you are each humbly dependent upon and focused on your

relationship with your father, the more naturally your relationship is drawn together. Why do we close this way? Because brothers and sisters, you need to know Jesus. If you know Jesus, then your relationship with your wife, your relationship with your husband will be as strong as it can possibly be. Amen? Let's all stand. Remember, next week, things could look a little funky in here.

Let not your heart be troubled. We will do everything that we can to make things happen without too much trouble. Without too much issue. And it's all to make things a little bit better. Would you bow with me? Father, we come to you and thank you for the time that we've had in your word this morning. Lord, you're so good to us. And I praise you for what is sometimes a very hard word to hear from

you. But Lord is also so good to our souls. So Lord, keep us focused on you. Keep us focused on the truth. In Jesus name. Amen. Be blessed.

Thank you for sending him, Lord Jesus. Lord Jesus, thank you for not leaving us as orphans and sending the Holy Spirit to comfort us and to guide us, Lord, in this world. I give you praise in Jesus name. Amen. The Lord bless you all.