Sunday Morning Service 10:30AM- Faithful Leadership Pt 1 - Pastor Ryan

Father, we thank you for the day. And thank you for another opportunity to be here, Lord, to serve you and to spend some time in your word and to worship you, Lord. Lord, I do want to take a moment, Lord, and just lift up all the moms in the room and just how special they are, Lord God. Thank you that you place them in our lives, Lord, just to teach us things and to help us to grow in you, Lord.

I pray a special blessing on each and every one of the moms here today, Lord. And I ask your blessing upon this time. We love you and we praise you in Jesus' name. Amen. Seat if you like. We'll continue on.

Lord God, I would just thank you for who we are in you, Lord. Lord, that in you we can find our identity and our purpose. And Lord God, your word says that who the Son sets free is free indeed. And so, Lord, I know sometimes we struggle with the idea, Lord, that once you've freed us, we're free indeed. Lord, that once you've freed us, we're free indeed. Once you've forgiven us, Lord God, once we've chosen you as our Savior, Lord God,

I know sometimes it's hard for us to really live that out. But, Lord, whom you've set free is free indeed. And, Lord, let us live that out freely. Let us celebrate it, Lord God. We love you and we praise you. And because you are alive, Lord, that means that we also, we also have new life in you. Would you guys go ahead and stand with me for this last one?

Through death and hell and the grave, and being resurrected again, Lord, you gave us new life.

God, you gave us new life. We just thank you, God. We praise you.

Good morning. If you could be in the process of finding your seat,

grab your bulletin. We'll get ready to go over some announcements.

Welcome to Calvary Chapel. I'm glad that you've joined us this morning. A handful of things to take note of in your bulletin. Over on the left-hand side, as always, are the things that go on throughout the week. So take note of a spot to get yourself plugged into. And over in the middle section of your bulletin, a few things to pay attention to. First, don't forget Agape Fruits is tonight.

There is a new home fellowship coming. The Rizzios, Nick and Eric, are going to be hosting a home fellowship in their home starting the first Thursday in June at 6 o'clock. Dinner and childcare will be provided. All the info is right there in the bulletin. And then there, if you're interested in it, there's a sign-up sheet out there. You can put your name and number down,

and he can get a hold of you about that. Fellas, we have a men's breakfast coming up this Saturday, 8 o'clock, down at the other end of the hallway. So come join us for that. And then, let's see. Oh, there she is. I need to have Krista come up and share with us about the Baby Bottle Project that we're going to do to help support Family Life Services Crisis Pregnancy Center.

Hello. My name is Krista Wood, for those of you who don't know me. I am the Executive Director at Family Life Services, and I started that position less than a year ago. So, um, Family Life Services is a local resource that supports pregnant women, um, also fathers that are interested in fatherhood. And we support them until the baby is born, and then after, until they're two years old, sorry.

Um, we provide resources and education and support. We just come alongside them wherever they are. But we are a non-profit, and we would rely primarily on donations. And so one campaign that used to be very popular and has not been done for the past couple years, we're bringing it back. Um, it's called, you know, Family Life Services Crisis Pregnancy Center.

Um, it's called, you know, Family Life Services Crisis Pregnancy Center. Um, it's called, you know, Family Life Services Crisis Pregnancy Center. Um, it's called, you know, Family Life Services Crisis Pregnancy Center. It's called Baby Bottle Fundraising. And the goal is from now until Father's Day to take these little banks and fill them with your change or coins or whatever,

and then on Father's Day, we collect them. And the whole idea is that a little change can make a big difference. Every little thing that we do, whether it's providing somebody with diapers or simply just being there for them, it all adds up, and we, we're a non-profit. And so we rely on these donations to help those women, and we would love it take a baby bottle and just work to fill it up with change and bring it back here and we'll get it from here we have a whole bunch outside on the table and if we run out get with me because we can get you more anytime thanks so much all right and then the last thing is that hey happy mother's day so glad to have all of you moms here i always like to point out that like while i know that i'm here

not only physically am i here because of my mom but but spiritually i'm where i am because of all the prayers of my mom and and um we're so appreciative of all you ladies and i have so many ladies in my life that are not even my biological mom but still acted that way uh kind of filled that role for me at points and times in my life and so so whether you uh are a mom or an aunt um or just uh just a another lady that's come along to help raise the kids around you we're very thankful for you so um as a little way to show thanks the ushers have got a little something for you uh if you'll go see one of them on your way out of church this morning so that we can say happy mother's day so those are the things that are going on if you would

make sure that your mobile device is silenced and for our responsive reading this morning we are going to be in psalm 11 psalm 11 looking at the new american standard for this part so that hopefully we all say the same thing at the same time if you need a copy there should be one in a row around you if there's not borrow it from a friend and as you are turning to psalm 11 if you are able please stand in the honor of the reading of god's word i will read the odd verses if you will follow along with pastor allen and the even verses psalm 11 for the choir director a psalm of david in the lord i take refuge how can you say to my soul flee as a bird to your mountain for behold the wicked bend the bow they make ready their arrow

upon the string to shoot in darkness at the upright in heart if the foundations are destroyed what can the righteous do the lord is in his holy temple the lord's throne is in heaven his eyes behold his eyelids test the sons of men the lord tests the righteous and the wicked and the one who loves violence his soul hates upon the wicked he will rain snares fire and brimstone and burning wind will be the portion of their cup and read verse 7 with me for the lord is righteous he loves righteousness the upright will behold his face and father we praise you for who you are praise you for being the the refuge that we have in times of trouble lord thank you that you always take care of your righteous ones and lord so may we

begin to reflect that righteousness in our lives father i pray that as we spend time in your word this morning that you would minister to us by the power of your holy spirit and god i just ask for a for a fresh anointing and a fresh falling of your holy spirit this morning on this place jesus name amen you may be seated and if you would open up in your bibles to the book of first timothy chapter 3 first timothy Chapter 3. We've been out of 1 Timothy for a couple of months now, between things happening with my father and then of course the series that we did with the resurrection, me being out of town for a couple of weeks. It's been a hot minute since we've been in there.

So I wanted to take just a moment to kind of catch us up. So 1 Timothy of course is the first of what we refer to as the pastoral epistles. They were written by Paul to Timothy, who was a young pastor, and they were written for really two reasons. One, to specifically instruct a young pastor to know how he was to conduct himself in the church and how he was to run things in the church. But it was also written really for churches in general.

It was pastoral in nature in that it was teaching a church exactly what it was supposed to look like to function as a church of God in a very ungodly culture. And so these letters are intended to give instructions, knowing that Paul's life was drawing to a close. He said, I want to make sure the churches know how they are to function in the world. He gave these instructions. We said that there was a theme that would run all through not only

1 and 2 Timothy, but also the book of Titus. And that theme would be faithfulness. That these pastors were to be faithful. And so we said that chapter 1 he instructed Timothy to be faithful to the word. To be faithful to the word. In chapter 2, he instructed him to be faithful in prayer. At the end of chapter 2, he talked about faithfulness within the house

of worship, and it was specifically a word to the ladies. Now as we come to chapter 3, Paul called this word faithful leadership. Faithful leadership. And it will take on two forms. We'll cover the first one today. We will look at qualifications for elders, and we will look at qualifications for deacons. And so we pick up in chapter 3 verse 1 and this is what it says.

It is a trustworthy statement. If any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work that he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach. The husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity.

But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? And not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. And so he gives these qualifications.

He says, if anyone desires to be an overseer. That word elsewhere is also translated bishop or what we often refer to as an elder. An elder in a church. There's three positions that are listed in the New Testament, main leadership positions within the church. There's the pastor, there's the elders, which can also be a pastor, and then there are the deacons.

He specifically first is going to address the elders or the overseers of the church. The job of the overseer, the job of the elder, is that the elder is to oversee the spiritual care and well-being of the church. It's very spiritual in nature. Deacons are going to handle more of the physical aspects, not only of the church, but of the congregation. Whereas the elders are going to handle the spiritual aspects.

So the first thing that we're going to do is to address the spiritual aspect of things. And as I was teaching first service, it kind of occurred to me that I should kind of lay some things out for about how we do things here at Calvary Chapel. So here at Calvary Chapel, we follow what Chuck Smith always referred to as the Moses model. If you were to go all the way back into the Old Testament, back into the book of Exodus, Moses had led the children of Israel out of the nation of Egypt.

And they were in the wilderness receiving the law. And Moses was in charge of a congregation of about a million people at this point in time. And he would spend all day judging the affairs of the people, the different things that would come up with the people. And they would all come to him with their questions and their concerns and all these kinds of things.

And he would do that all day long. Well, his father-in-law saw him one day and his father-in-law said, Moses, you're going to wear yourself out doing this. It's not healthy that one guy have to shoulder the load for this entire congregation of people. The job is too great. You need to appoint for yourself elders. And the first thing that you need to do is you need to teach the congregation the law of God, teach them the statutes,

teach them the things that they're supposed to do. And then you need to specifically instruct elders on how to lead the people, put them over groups of hundreds and groups of 50 so that they can instruct those people. They will then implement the law and then hear the cases that need to be heard. And anything that's too big for the elder, he can bring to you.

And so that's kind of the model that we follow. The idea is this, is that the pastor, like Moses, is hearing from the Lord and he's setting the vision for the church. He's setting the teaching. He's teaching for the church based on what scripture says and his own personal relationship with the Lord. The elders are not only holding the pastor accountable so that everyone knows that the pastor is still continuing to do the things that are biblical in nature,

but they're also helping to implement that vision within the church. Because the fact of the matter is no one person should ever be doing all of the things, right? No one person can take care of everything. There's no way I can do every hospital visit. There's no way I can do every in-home visit. Look at the crowd of people that's in here. Right now, do you think I can make it to all of your homes every day this week?

No, that would be impossible. That's where the body of Christ comes into play, is the elders help shoulder that load and they, they handle portions of it for the pastor so that the pastor can stay focused on leading and setting the vision for the church. Well, with that model, we see that these, we have these qualifications for what it looks like if you're going to be one of those elders that's been put in charge in a church. Now, I want to say a couple of things about this.

He says, first of all, that, that whoever wants to do this, whoever has the desire to do this, the desire to be in some sort of leadership within the church, man, you desire a really good thing. As a matter of fact, really the idea behind a good thing is it's a noble thing that you, that you aspire to do. It's a great work that you're looking to do. And so with these, with these things that are given out, we need to understand something.

And the first thing that we need to understand is no leader is ever going to be perfect. He gives some qualifications, but no leader is ever going to be perfect. There's going to be areas where some leaders are stronger in than others. And if you're looking for a perfect leader, then we can only look to Jesus because he's the only one that ever did it correctly.

However, there are some standards that we can hold some people to. And as we look at these standards, we need to realize that these standards should either be present in the life of a leader. They should be desired in the life of a leader or a leader should be growing in these in his life. If none of those things are true, then we need to not put that person in any kind of leadership within a church.

But the last thing that I will tell you is this, these qualifications that I'm going to look at, this list are not just valuable character traits for leaders. These are indicators of Godly character within the life of an individual. These are indicators of spiritual maturity. And so while you may never have the desire to ever be an elder in a church, these are things that you should test your life against and say, are these things a growing part of my life?

Because it's a really good check to see if you're really becoming spiritually mature or if you have sort of plateaued in your walk with Jesus Christ. And so what he does in these seven verses is he gives us 15 different things. I know that sounds like a lot. We'll work through it quickly. I promise. I'm at the exact same time at this moment that I was last service

and I was done five minutes early. So I feel pretty good about that. So I let's let's roll. Okay, 15 things. Number one, an elder is to be blameless. An elder is to be blameless. This particular translation says above reproach. But the idea behind that word is that there's nothing that you can hold on to. There's nothing that you can hold on to. In other words,

if an accusation, is brought against the leader, it can't be proven. Now, first of all, this does not mean that you have to be perfect. If it meant that you had to be perfect, I can't be up here. Neither can you. Nobody could be in charge of a church. The idea is that you keep your accounts short with man and you keep your accounts short with God. If there is an issue between you and someone else,

you need to deal with it quickly, especially if you're in leadership. Because if you don't, then all of a sudden you've got something someone can hold on to and say, this is an issue that they have in their life. And most importantly, you have to keep your accounts short with God. When you see sin arise in your life, when you see areas of weakness arise in your life, you need to confess those and you need to seek to deal with them in your life.

You need to look for what obedience looks like in your life. The idea is this, that you should have a life that's seen as righteous. That when people look at you, they go, I can tell that person's following Jesus. I can tell that they are truly a follower of Jesus Christ because their life reflects the values. And so he says, number one, they are to be blameless.

Number two, the husband of one wife. Now, I'm going to say something. I'm going to say two or three mildly unpopular things this morning. Okay, but you guys are used to that for me by now. So it is what it is. It says you're to be the husband of one wife. Now, when we get down to deacons, we will find that there's instructions for women as well, but not within the role of elders.

And I dealt with this a few weeks ago at the end of chapter two, when he starts talking about roles within the church, that my understanding from scripture is that women can be used in lots of areas of ministry within the church. Lots of areas of ministry within the church. There's only two things that scripture restricts as far as the role of women in the church, the pastor and the elder. Other than that, there are tons and tons of places that women can be used within the church.

Before an elder, it seems to me to indicate that elders are intended to be men. It's not because men are better. It's not because men are superior. It has everything to do with calling, and it has everything to do with responsibility. Because I'll tell you this, and this is true in a church, and this is true in your home. Men will either take the lead and take the responsibility,

or they will fail to take the lead, and God will still hold them responsible. And you just need to know that, because that's the way God has intended it scripturally. So it says they are to be the husband of one wife. Now, I'm going to tell you two things that this does not mean. Number one, it doesn't mean you have to be married to be an elder. There are some that teach that,

but it's like, well, then you just disqualified Paul and Jesus, right? Because Paul and Jesus weren't married. And so it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be married in order to be an elder. The second thing is that it does not disqualify the divorced. That's a pretty unpopular statement. It does not disqualify the divorced. As long as things have been handled biblically,

as long as it's a biblical divorce, and there has been biblical restoration that's taken place, I don't believe it disqualifies someone who is divorced from ever being able to serve as an elder within the church. And as a sidebar, can I just say, that I feel like we as the church have handled divorce about as poorly as we possibly can, because we have condemned those that have been divorced. We have not supported those that have been divorced. And we have told women that they have to stay in situations that they should never be in, especially abusive situations, because after all, God hates divorce.

And I think that we've done a horrific job of handling that. Instead of relying strictly on what Scripture says and saying that God would not have you stick around and be a punching bag, both mentally or both emotionally or physically, that God would not have you stay in a relationship where there is, serial infidelity going on, whether that infidelity be an actual affair taking place, or pornography, or lots of other things, like I think we've handled it really poorly. And because of that, we don't end up really bringing reconciliation to people's lives. So it doesn't mean those two things.

So what does it mean? What it means is a one-woman man, a one-woman man. I love the way that David Guzik put this in his commentary. He said, the idea of a one-woman man is that they are faithful in their affections, and that they are faithful, in their attachment to their wife. They are faithful in their affections, and they are faithful in their attachment to their wife.

In other words, you can't have a girl on the side, right? In the culture that Paul was writing to, polygamy was huge at this point in time. And so what he said was an earth-shattering thing. Like, you have to be the husband of one wife. You're like, what? Everybody in the culture thought that was a pretty strange thing. But he said, no, you have to be a one-woman sort of man.

You have to keep yourself to that one person. And listen, I'm here to tell you right now, fellas, be a one-woman, sort of man. Your affections and your, what are the two words that he used there? Your affections and your attachment need to be to your wife. That needs to be the person that you pour all of your time and energy into. That needs to be the person that you pour all of your attention into.

And listen, if there's someone else you're pouring your attention into, it's time for it to stop. Let today be the last day that that ever happens. Actually, let yesterday be the last day that that ever happens. And let today be a brand new day for you. And you young ladies out there that are looking for a guy to marry, you need to know something. If he's not faithful while you're dating,

he's not going to be faithful while you're married. You just need to know that. You need to be aware of that. And so he says a husband of one wife. Number three, the word temperate. Temperate. The idea of temperate is self-controlled. Self-controlled. Not given to extremes or mood swings. Not given to extremes or mood swings. Brothers and sisters, we have a need for self-control in our culture today.

We actually have a culture that sort of celebrates a lack of self-control. Or celebrates an over amount of self-control. That's a whole other discussion all in and of itself with the whole stoic movement of some people that I see today. But we are a generation that lacks self-control. We think if a little bit's good, a lot's better. And we need to start to have self-control in the way that we handle our lives.

Control over your emotions. Control over your will. Control over your desires. Control over your impulses. That's the idea of someone who is self-controlled. That is temperate. They're not constantly swinging from one thing to the next. From one mood to the next. From one idea to the next. There's an aspect of self-control about someone's life. Number four.

They are to be prudent. They are to be prudent. The word prudent means sensible and of a sound mind. To think clearly and with clarity. Sensible and of a sound mind. To think clearly and with clarity. Again, in the church today, this is a distinct need that we have. Have you ever been around somebody that's incredibly eccentric? Listen, eccentric people are really fun to be around

until you need to know something is solid. And then their eccentric ideas all of a sudden start to go out the window, right? You need someone who is always sensible in the way that they handle themselves. It's one of the things that I've always truly appreciated about my father. Is my father is a very prudent man. He's a very sensible man. And when you go to him for advice, he's going to make you stop.

He's going to make you think. And he's going to talk you through it in the most sensible way possible. And he's going to make sense of everything that he says. Because he'll have great clarity of thought. Because he'll bring up the scriptures. He'll bring up reality. And he'll make you focus on things. Chuck Smith was the exact same way. And those are the kind of people that we need leading a church.

Not someone who is always going to have the next new idea. And one minute you're going this direction. The next minute you're going this direction. No, you need someone who's sensible. Someone who has great ideas and will always point you to Jesus. Number five, someone who is respectable. Someone who is respectable. It's interesting. I think some of your translations may even say it.

The word respectable can also be translated of good behavior. Of good behavior. And I like that. It means you just do good things, right? Like your behavior is good. It's orderly. It's dignified. One of the commentaries that I read said, a life in accord with the position that he holds. A life in accord with the position that he holds. And in every new stage of ministry.

That I've been in. There's been a higher level of accountability. And a higher level of a need for me to be respectable. When I first started into ministry. I was very, very young. I was 21 years old. And every now and then I look back and I'm like, who put a 21 year old in charge of anything? But that was the way it was. I was a college kid leading other college kids.

And I remember in those early years in ministry. I did some really dumb things. I said some really dumb things. And you're like, wow, so you've gotten better. I know, right? Like praise Jesus. I said some really dumb things. I allowed some really dumb things. I had some really bad ideas. And as a matter of fact, there's a lot of stories I can't tell you from the pulpit right now.

But I had to learn some of these in a really hard way. And you know how the whole there's a person behind every rule? Well, there was a bad decision behind every rule that I had. And so I had to learn to be respectable. And then when I moved from being a youth pastor into being a senior pastor. I was like, well, there went half my sense of humor. Right? Because I have to be more respectable now.

And I still struggle with that. Clearly, right? Like I still struggle with not always being a youth pastor in the way that I talk. Because, because I need that respectable place in my life. I remember, I think three weeks ago, I said something and my mom looked at me and she goes, just don't forget, you're a senior pastor. And I was like, that's a good word, mom.

I need to hear that. So, but you got to be respectable. A life that accords with the position that he holds. And if somebody is running around doing crazy things, you're just going, man, I can't have you acting like this and being in charge of people. You got to live a respectable life. Number six, hospitable. Hospitable. The word hospitable means willing and able to open their homes to a friend and a stranger.

So I've been thinking about this this week. Like that's, that's a qualification for an elder, right? So I think if, I think I just came up with the perfect test for whether or not someone can be an elder. I think if somebody comes to me and says, hey, I desire the position of an elder. I'm going to go find somebody that I see walking up and down the street,

which we got a lot of those around here, right? And say, you know what? They're going to come stay at your house this week. Wouldn't that be a great test for you? That's a joke. I wouldn't do that to somebody. You're all like, that's the craziest thing I could ever imagine happening. But the idea is, is showing kindness to both friend and stranger. What is your home?

Is your home something that belongs to you? Or is it something that belongs to God? What is your money? Is it something that belongs to you? Or is it something that belongs to God? What are your possessions? Are they something that belong to you? Or are they something that belong to God? When you become a hospitable individual, all of a sudden, all of your stuff is now an open offering to the Lord.

And you say, Lord, this is yours. Do with it what you will. How can I show kindness to strangers with this? You know what the book of Hebrews tells us? The book of Hebrews says that you should show kindness to strangers because some inadvertently have entertained angels. You never can tell. You never can tell who it is that you're going to be taking care of.

And so there should be this hospitable caring sort of way about you if you're going to be in leadership in a church. Number seven, you need to be able to teach. You need to be able to teach. Skilled enough to be able to teach either in public or one-on-one. Now listen, I'm going to tell you, especially you young men that think that you might want to go into ministry someday.

I'm going to tell you a really important thing, and you should take this with you for the rest of your life. If you ever want to teach God's word, it will always start with a daily time with the Lord. If you ever think that you want to teach God's word, the best place to start is your daily devotional life. And I don't know a single pastor that would disagree with that.

Because every single one of us will tell you that, the greatest sermon prep we do is not looking up words in the Greek. The greatest sermon prep we do is being acquainted with God's word on a personal level between us and Jesus. Because that's when Jesus ministers to our hearts. Because that's when Jesus hits us with things that no Greek study can ever hit you with.

And so you need to be in God's word. You need to familiarize yourself with God's word. And once you have familiarized yourself with God's word on that personal basis, then start digging in and going a little bit deeper into it. Start looking more things up. Start figuring it out for yourself. Don't believe it because I told you. Don't believe it because someone else told you.

Believe it because God taught you as you got into God's word for yourself. You need to be able to teach. And listen, our elders, some can be up here on a stage and they can deliver God's word in this way, and some are made for the one-on-one sort of thing. That's okay. But that's going to have to be an important way to be an elder. You have to be able to handle God's word.

And you have to be able to handle God's word properly. It's always interesting to come across young men that are talented young men. They're good speakers. They can handle themselves well. And then they start to explain God's word. And you're like, that's not actually what that says. So we're going to have to get back to ground zero because you can't really handle God's word.

You can speak really well, but you can't really handle God's word the way that you're supposed to. Because brothers and sisters, you got to understand something. Once you stand behind a Bible and tell somebody else what it says, that's a heavy responsibility because you're telling them this is what God says. And you got to take that responsibility seriously to be able to teach God's word.

But listen, I want you all to know something. God even wants to use every single person in this room to give out his word to other people around you. You know that? Because some of y'all may never be in a pastoral role. You may never be in a Bible study teaching role, but you're probably going to have kids. You're probably going to have grandkids. You're probably going to have nieces and nephews.

And they're going to need to know what God's word has to say. And they're going to need to know what God did in your life. They're going to need to hear your story. So you should be acquainted with this and what it's doing in you so that then you can tell somebody else, this is what God's word did in me. You don't ever have to give a Bible study. You can just be like, man, I was a loser and I was lost.

I think God's word got ahold of my heart and now I'm found. And this is how God did it. And these are some of the most important verses to me. That's teaching God's word. And you should be able to do that as a mature believer in Jesus Christ. So, blameless, husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, now is when you're going to not like me.

Not addicted to wine. Not addicted to wine. I'm going to tell you what every commentator pretty well agrees with on this. And then I'm going to give you some of my own opinions, which you can take home. Take or leave, I would take them if it were me. The idea of not addicted to wine is not a complete prohibition of alcohol, but it is a discouragement of alcohol.

I was talking to a group of kids here recently and I said, you know, alcohol has become a very hot button issue in the church today. I remember sitting at a youth pastor's conference about 12 years ago and there was an open debate amongst all of the young men and women sitting in this. Number nine, not pugnacious. Quick show of hands. Who's ever used the word pugnacious in a sentence before?

Yeah, that's kind of what I thought. None of us have used that word before. I'm like, dear translators of the New American Standard Bible, choose a word we've heard of, right? Let me tell you what the word pugnacious means. Fun fact, all I can think of is a pug right now. Like I just have a dog in my head, like a little wrinkly. That's not what it means at all.

That's what I think of though. Pugnacious, or to not be pugnacious means to not be violent. I'm like, that word felt better than pugnacious. Pugnacious, right? Like that word made more sense. The word literally means not a striker, not a striker or a bruiser. In other words, you can't be a fighter if you're gonna be in leadership in church. Now I'm not talking whatever, MMA guys,

I don't care about all that. I'm talking about somebody who goes out and picks a fight all the time. Somebody who you have to question every time they get in a situation like, am I getting a call because they knocked somebody out? I've been around people like this. There's nothing scarier than going out there, than going out with somebody who you know is a fighter

and you're like, man, one wrong word and I'm pulling them off somebody. I had a friend in high school and a lot bigger than me. And I remember I stepped between him and another guy one time because he was on the wrestling team and I was like, man, I can't get this guy kicked off the team. And I stepped in between them and I was like, dumbest decision I've ever made in my life.

And I pushed him back and he sat down. Thank God he loved me, right? Because if he didn't, I don't know if I'd be here today. But I sat him down and I'm like, you gotta think about what you're doing right now. You're gonna be off the team. It's hard to go out with people like that, right? Well, you definitely can't have that in leadership in a church. Be like, hey, that guy's teaching the word.

He knocked me out last week, right? You just can't have that. And so he's not violent, not a striker. And can I, do I want to get to that in just a minute? Yeah, let's deal with it right there. So the idea, no, I'll deal with it on the next one. Number 10, gentle. You do want to be gentle. Now, as men, we don't like to hear that. We don't like to hear that word, right?

Like gentle sounds like weak. Like gentle sounds like, sounds like a pansy, right? But listen, if we understand where this word gentle, you know what the word gentle means? It means gentle. It's kind of like an onomatopoeia, right? Like you say it and you kind of immediately know what it means, but that's what it means. But when we think about who Jesus was,

Jesus was very gentle in the way that he handled himself. And yet Jesus was a man's man, right? Like, I don't know what your picture is in your mind of Jesus. But they know what sometimes it is. Sometimes it's the movies from the 70s, right? Where Jesus is pale and looks like he just got out of the library for the past 29 years and he never smiles and he looks like a stiff wind is going to blow him over.

Like, dude, Jesus lived in AD 30, right? When like everything was hard and he was a carpenter in AD 30. They didn't have power tools. Like, dude's out hewing his own logs and doing his own work. I mean, he was a guy. He was a man and he was strong, right? But he was gentle. That didn't mean he didn't handle business when he needed to. Remember what happened when Jesus went into the temple

in that last week, what we call Holy Week. He goes into the temple and he sees all of these guys in there defacing the temple, pulling people away from the real relationship with God, giving them a lack of understanding of what it looks like, misrepresenting God. And what did he do? Dude made a whip and started flipping tables, right? I don't think he was out of control at all.

I think he was absolutely self-controlled in the way that he handled himself. But he said, this will not happen. And that guy was gentle. Man, stop thinking gentleness is weakness. Gentleness is power under control. It means you can handle business when necessary, but the way you deal with people is gentle. Listen, I'm here to tell you right now, if you will approach everyone gently and escalate if necessary,

it will change everything instead of escalating and then pulling back and being gentle later. They will only remember your escalation. If the first thought that people have of you, as someone who's going to come at them and yell, they're not coming to you to talk about anything. But if they come to you and know you're going to be gentle with them, unless they know they need to be told the truth, then they're going to come and tell you everything.

Listen, I have people come and sit in my office and they tell me stuff. They're willing to tell me everything because they know I'm going to be kind of gentle with them. But I'm here to tell you right now, while gentle is my nature, I am absolutely willing to tell the truth when necessary. It's the hardest thing in the world to do, to look someone square in the eye and be like, you're living in sin.

But because they know I care, they're willing to hear that from me. If you want to be used by God, you have to be gentle in that way. And so we use Jesus as our example, and we follow Jesus as our example. Number 11 is peaceable. Not quarrelsome, not always fighting over something, not someone who is quick to get into an argument. And again, I think this is super necessary,

especially in the culture that we live in today. Because whether it's on social media, whether it's in the government, whether it's with politics, you name it, everybody's quarrelsome today, right? Like everybody's ready to pick a fight. Now the difference between someone who is pugnacious, that carries with it the idea of physical violence. Quarrelsome carries with it the idea of just always wanting to start an argument with somebody.

But we are to be peaceable in the way that we handle ourselves. Peace should always be the thing that you seek for. Do you remember what Jesus said in the sermon? In the Sermon on the Mount? He said, blessed are the peacemakers, right? Why? Why is it so good? Because Jesus came to bring peace. He came to bring peace in relationships. He came to bring peace with God.

He came to bring the peace of God. And we are to be peaceable in the way that we handle ourselves. And you have to understand that your job is not to start an argument with everybody just to prove your point. And that's what we've got going on right now. Is we have everybody wanting to start arguments to prove their points. Especially on social media. I have friends on social media.

Again, I love them dearly. They love Jesus, but they have very strong theological positions. And they will, I call it picking a fight on social media, right? And they'll post something out there and then they'll be shocked that everybody's angry with them. They're like, I can't believe you people react this way. I'm like, I can. Did you see what you wrote? Like, that wasn't very peaceable.

But that's what we're called to be. We're called to make peace. Make peace with each other and make peace with people. We're to be peaceable in that way. Number 12, free from the love of money. Free from the love of money. I love the way the Amplified Bible translated this. It said, not covetous or greedy for wealth, but financially ethical. Not covetous or greedy for wealth, but financially ethical.

I've shared this lots of times, but when I worked construction and guys knew that I wanted to go into ministry, they said, I bet you do because you want all of that money. I bet you do because you want all of that money. Man, were they wrong. I like that you all laughed just the minute it came out of my mouth. Hey, you had to make a joke out of it. But you know why they thought that?

Because they'd watch TV evangelists who always were asking people for money. They're always fleecing God's flock. Well, you know, if you'll just send me $5,000, if you'll just sow a seed offering into my ministry, then you will see that return fivefold to you in your life, right? And that's all they've seen. They've seen people handle money so poorly. They've seen pastors treat it so unethically that that's what they think of.

And you know what the problem is? They're right. That's the hard thing in those situations is you really do have to defend yourself. Because sometimes in those situations, it really does happen. Listen, we have to understand something. And I don't know if I addressed this in the beginning or not because I forget stuff. But we have to understand that church leadership has really been under attack, especially over about the last 10 years.

Listen, sometimes for a really good reason. Sometimes it's because we've given them a reason to attack. Because church leadership has handled things abusively. Church leadership has handled things wrong. They've handled money wrong. They've handled people wrong. They've handled restoration wrong. And it's because they've cared more about themselves and their name and their money than they have about the true work of God.

And because of that, you run into issues. You know who one of the most fantastic examples of the proper way to handle the love of money was? It was Billy Graham. Early on, I watched this movie about him, about his life. Fantastic human being in the way that he came to the Lord and the way he handled his ministry and the things that he went through in his life.

And early on in his ministry, somebody tried to levy an accusation against someone in his ministry. And he said, you know what? And it was false. But he said, you know what? We're going to hold ourselves above reproach to a different level than everyone else. And these will be the three principles that we operate by. You never touch the women. You never touch the glory.

And you never touch the money. That's why after Billy Graham died, you know what nobody had? Nobody had articles to write about him, about scandals that were covered up. Same with Chuck Smith. Chuck Smith was a fantastic guy in the way that he handled himself. And so when all was said and done, because he lived his life above reproach, after he died, nobody came out with the expose about how there's now this scandal about Chuck Smith.

Why? Because they handled themselves in an honorable sort of way. They handled themselves in a respectable, blameless sort of way. And they did not allow the love of money to corrupt them. You know, you hear this misquoted all the time. What do people say? Money is the root of all evil. You know, that's not actually what the Bible says. What the Bible says is that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.

That's why he says if you're going to be a minister, if you're going to be an elder, if you're going to be a leader, you have to keep yourself free from the love of money. Number three. Number 13, he says, you have to manage your household well. You have to manage your household well. In other words, you have to first demonstrate leadership at home. Because if you can't demonstrate leadership at home, you won't be a leader in a church.

Because home is where Christianity is first demonstrated. Your home is where Christianity is first demonstrated. And I think we have to keep that in mind. And I think we have to understand something. I had a young man come to me one time here recently, and he said, I want to start serving in the church. And I thought, I think maybe there's some work that needs to be done in his life.

I said, okay, why don't you start by mowing your yard? Why don't you start by mowing your lawn? And he was like, you know what he never came back to ask me for? An opportunity to serve in the church. You know why? Because if you can't serve at home, you can't serve here. If you don't know how to be a Christian at home, you're never going to be a Christian in public.

If you don't know how to be a leader at home, you can't be a leader in public. Because that's the necessary test. And so he says, you have to be able to manage your own household well. And the biggest thing he's getting across is about childcare. He says, you've got to be able to manage your kids, that your kids would be obedient. And so let me just read it to us.

It says, if a man, verse 5, does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church? He says, the church of God. Our greatest responsibilities are to our kids. That's our first ministry. And if that ministry is not right, then the rest of the ministry won't be good either. But we have to understand something. I have seen, because Erin and I have worked with kids so long, we have seen things not go the way that everybody says it's supposed to go.

Right? Like we've both seen kids grow up in drug infested houses, whose parents are the biggest losers you could ever imagine in your entire life. And they're the ones who just turn on these on and off. They go on to not only love Jesus with all of their heart, but become successful people and raise wonderful families. We've watched that happen. I have seen kids come from the greatest homes possible

where mom and dad both love Jesus. Mom and dad are pouring into them and they go off and become atheists. I could give you names. I've seen it happen. And so what we have to understand is a child can rebel in a good home or a child can rebel in a bad home. The question is, if a child rebels, is it because of what the parents did or is it in spite of what the parents did?

And may I just say, I just want to speak a word to you parents out there. Don't give up on your kids. I especially want to speak a word to you moms. Don't give up on your kids because I'm here because my mom wouldn't give up on me. Like I genuinely mean that. Like I'm here because my mom prayed for me so much. There's a fantastic book. It's called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire.

You may have read that book before. I would highly recommend. It's by Jim Cimbala, the pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle. And he writes this story about the importance of prayer in his church and the importance of prayer in his family. And he said, we started pastoring there and God told me, you need to pray. And so he started having these great prayer meetings

with people and all of a sudden in that rough area of Brooklyn that he's in, people start coming to Jesus. Like by the droves, like people are getting set free from drugs. People are getting set free from gangs. Like it's a fantastic story about what God's doing. He said, but in that moment, he said, I felt like I heard Satan whisper something and he said, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what he's doing in my ear. He said, it sent chills down my spine. He said, I'm coming for your kids and there's nothing you can do about it. And he said, and he did just that. He said, he came after my oldest daughter and he came after her hard. And she rebelled so bad that I didn't think we were ever gonna get her back. He said, it got to a point where she moved out of the house

and I had no idea where she was. And he said, the Lord told me to keep doing the same thing. He told me to pray. And so we prayed and we prayed and we prayed. And he said, thank you. And finally, there was one night where there was this, what I can only call a breakthrough prayer meeting where they gathered and they prayed. And he said, I don't know what your theology is,

but that prayer was unlike anything I never heard before where she was being claimed in the name of God. He said, I came home and I told my wife, I said, it's done. Whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen because I've never seen anyone storm the gates of heaven quite so hard for any one person in my entire life. He said, the next day, she came home. Because that's what God does.

That's what God does when you manage your household well. It doesn't mean that your kids are never gonna rebel. It doesn't mean that your kids are never gonna make mistakes because there's gonna come a point in time where you've taught them everything that you can teach them. You've taught them who God is. You've taught them what obedience is. You've taught them about what sin is.

You've taught them about what salvation is. And then at that point in time, all you can do is say, but now it's God's problem, not mine. Because they're gonna make their own decisions. And then you just have to trust Jesus, which is way harder than teaching them about obedience. It's way harder than teaching them about sin. It's way harder than teaching them about salvation.

And it's way harder than teaching them about obedience. It's just way harder than those things. Because you have to trust God in that moment. Because that's being a good manager of your house. But if you can't be a good manager of your household, I can't put you in leadership here. Every now and then, I'll see what appears to be a very talented person, that's ready for leadership.

But they never tell their kids no. Or they're not in charge of their home. And you go, I just don't know if I can use you right now. Because you don't ever tell your kids no. And that tells me that you're not managing your household well. And those are hard conversations to have. They need to be able to manage their own household well. Number 14, not a new convert.

Not a new convert. That word is also translated not a novice. Which is an interesting word because the word novice means newly planted. Not someone who is newly planted. In other words, you don't want to put someone who is a brand new Christian right into the mix of ministry because they're not ready for it. Actually, one of the biggest things that will happen is pride.

Pride will come in. That's the snare of the devil that he talks about there. Pride will come in and they will see some great thing happen and all of a sudden they'll go, look what I did. Instead of going, look what God did. And so you have to get established. You have to get rooted. You have to get grounded. And so the best thing that you can do, if you're a brand new believer in here this morning,

I just want you to know something. This is what I want you to do, okay? I want you to get into God's word every single day. And I want you to pray. I want you to talk to Jesus every single day. And I want you to ask him every day, what does it look like to really be rooted and grounded in you? Because I want you to become mature. I want you to become someone who handles the word well,

who knows how to walk away from sin, who knows how to walk towards Jesus so that you are firm in your faith so that when the hard things come, you're rooted. When the roots still hold deep. I praise God that I did not become a pastor in the first year that I started walking with Jesus because I'm here to tell you right now, it would have destroyed me. Because the things that you go through in ministry, man, they're just hard.

There's just no other way to put it than that. And I don't think I could have handled the last seven and a half years of my life if I hadn't first gone through the first 15 years of walking with Jesus and really getting grounded in who I am in him. And quite frankly, that's the way we handle things here at the church too. If you're a new person, God has been adding to our numbers and it's been fantastic.

I love it. I love seeing new faces. I apologize if I ask you your name seven times. I blame COVID. It's probably not the problem, but that's what I blame. And so we got these brand new faces and y'all are like, hey, I'm gonna make your church my church. I'm like, that's fantastic. I love having you here. They're like, how do I sign up for membership? I'm like, we don't have one.

You are now. And they're like, okay, well, that's weird, but great. And then they're like, how do I start serving? And I'm like, why don't you just hang out for another five months? And they're like, all the excitement just got deflated from them. They're like, why? Like, well, because I want you to be grounded. I wanna know that you really agree with everything we're doing here.

I wanna know that you're really committed to being here. And I wanna know that I can trust you. And that's a hard statement to say, but it's just true. And we hold to that for reasons. I can give you names. I won't, because that would be wrong. But I can give you names of reasons why you have to do that. Because you need to be rooted. You can't be a novice.

And so he says, he can't be a novice. And then number 15, you didn't think we'd get here, right? Number 15, a good reputation outside the church. A good reputation outside the church. In other words, who you are in here needs to look just like how you are out there. Or better yet, how you are out there needs to look just like how you are in here. Understand something.

When you're in leadership, it's an invitation for criticism, okay? That's been one of the hardest things I've learned as a leader, is that when you're in leadership, it is an invitation to become a villain in someone's story. And that's just all that there is to it. There are people in this town, there are people in this area that I'm the villain in their story, and they'll tell you all kinds of bad things about me.

You know how I know that? Because people come to me and they say, do you know what so-and-so's saying about you? And I'm like, well, I don't know what to do. And they'll tell you it's not true. So that's just kind of all that there is to it. And I'm such a lovable guy, too. I don't understand. But that's just the way that it is. You're gonna be the villain in someone's story.

That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a life outside that matches what you claim that it is when you sit in these pews. You can't be someone who has a bad reputation outside. Brothers and sisters, we need to understand something. There is a need for strong leaders in churches. And these are the qualifications for what a leader in a church is supposed to look like.

But can I just bring it home real quick on something? Literally, it's also what the qualifications for a leader in a home look like. Men, again, I'm gonna talk to you here for just a minute. You're the leader of your home. You're the elder of your home. You're the priest of your household. These are your qualifications. This is what should be growing in your life.

If it's not, you need to ask yourself why. You need to ask yourself why these are not true about you. And you need to have a real serious conversation with Jesus. And you may need to have a really serious conversation with your wife. Wives, you need to hold your husbands accountable to this. Not in a demeaning sort of way, but in a, this is who God's called you to be.

Let's see how we can see you become that. You young ladies that are looking for a husband, you're dating someone, or you're looking for someone to date, you need to look at these qualifications because they're not true about you. They're not true about you. They're not true about you. They're not true about you. Because if that dude doesn't meet these qualifications

when you're dating, he darn sure isn't going to meet them when you're married. Right? And so you need to pay attention to these kinds of things. Young men that are looking for someone to marry, quit worrying about who you're going to marry and start worrying about being the right person. Don't worry about whether or not you're going to find yourself a little haughty

and start worrying about whether or not you are going to be a man and really lead your wife. Because that's how you'll become the man God has created you to be. Amen? Let's all stand.

And if you'd bow with me.

Father, we come to you now. And Lord, I praise you for who you are. Lord, I praise you for the grace that you show to us. But Lord, I also praise you for standards. Standards that hold us accountable. And so Lord, may we mature as believers in Jesus Christ. Father, may we not be those that are satisfied with the status quo. But Lord, may we be those who would move forward into maturity.

Lord, I lift up the men in this room. And God, I lift up the men in this room. God, I pray that they would become men of God, that they would be the men that you have called for them to be and that they would step up into the role that you have for them in their lives. And Father, I thank you for all these moms in here. Lord, the moms that are now and the moms that will be.

And Lord, I just thank you for them. I thank you for their tender hearts. Lord, I thank you for their nurturing soul. I thank you for how much they care. And Lord, I just pray that you would bless them today. And Lord, may they know how loved they are, not only by you, but all around them. So Father, we thank you and praise you for who you are. In Jesus' name, amen.

Be blessed. Above all powers. Praise you. And we thank you for your word. Thank you for who you are and for how much you love us and for what you've done for us, Lord God. Lord, you're worthy of all the honor and glory and praise. So Father, we give that to you this morning. Lord, as we leave here today, I pray that your Holy Spirit continue to minister to us, Lord God.

And just bless each and every one of us, Lord, and bless the moms out there. We love you and we praise you in Jesus' name. Amen. You guys have a wonderful week. Happy Mother's Day to you.