Godly Marriage Pt 1

So the last verse that we covered was verse 21 of chapter five of Ephesians. And what it said is be subject or submit to one another in the fear of Christ. That will springboard a new discussion about relationships that we will begin talking about today because there's three types of relationships where there's mutual submission that takes place. The first is the marriage relationship.

The second is parental relationships. And the third is workplace relationships between employer and employee. So the first of those relationships that we are going to discuss, and it will take us, I think, three weeks to discuss it, is the marriage relationship. And so the title of this morning's message is Godly Marriage Part One, God's Plan for Marriage. And so rather than being in Ephesians chapter...

In Ephesians chapter five, what I actually want you to turn to is Genesis chapter two. Genesis chapter two. And we're going to be looking at verses 15 through 25. Now by way of introduction, before we again get into scripture, go ahead and turn there. While you're turning there, I want to bring up a couple of things. First of all, I want to talk about why the subject of marriage is important for anybody

to learn about no matter what place you're in. I know that anytime I speak to a group of people, especially our church, there's probably a handful of different groups of people here. There are some of you here, there are some of you here that are divorced. And right now you're going, Ryan, you're just going to heap some condemnation on me because I've been divorced.

And that's not the goal at all. I actually want you to see the continued covenant faithfulness of God in spite of who we are, that God still loves us and is still committed to us no matter what, because no matter what situation you find yourself in. It's not irredeemable as far as God is concerned, and you are not beyond God's reach. God's faithful love continues in spite of who we are.

But if you find yourself in that situation where you are divorced, perhaps there are some things that you can learn that when God provides you with another mate, perhaps we can avoid some of the mistakes from before. If you're here this morning and you're single by God's calling in your life, this message is still for you. Because I know that there are some people who God calls. And that's what God has called you to, whether it be for this season or for your life in general.

And yet it's still important for you to hear about this marriage relationship for a couple of reasons. Number one, because marriage is a picture of God's covenant faithfulness to us. And so it's a reminder of God's covenant faithfulness to you. But also marriage is foundational to our society, and it will give you the understanding of how to support and pray for those that are around you that are in marriage relationships.

There are some here this morning who are single, I call it single but waiting, right? Like you're in the waiting room right now, and you're waiting for God to provide that person for you. And while you are in the waiting room, while you are single but waiting, it is important to know and understand the principles for marriage so that you will not settle for less than God's best, and so that you will rest in what God is going to provide for you. There are some here whose marriages are struggling.

You're married, but barely. You're married, but it's barely hanging on. As a matter of fact, today may be the last day for you if you're not careful. And I want you to know this message is for you, because I want to talk to you about what godly marriage is supposed to look like, not to heap condemnation on you, but to hopefully build you up into who God wants for you to be, because God's greatest desire is to see your marriage be as strong as possible for our society, but also for you.

And so I want to see you built up. And so I want to see you built up with these principles of what it looks like to be in a marriage relationship. And there are some of you here, your marriage is just thriving. Matter of fact, things could not be going better. I would tell you that you still need to hear messages like these, because no matter how strong your marriage is, it can always be stronger.

It can always be better. You can always look to make your marriage stronger. I do a decent number of weddings, and I take couples through this book called The Before You Say I Do. As a matter of fact, if you're looking for a devotional to do with your spouse, I don't care how long you've been married, the Before You Say I Do devotional is really, really good.

So I usually, sometimes I don't go through it with the couple, because I have a booklet that I take them through as well with a whole lot of questions. But sometimes I just read through it, and I call it, it's just marriage maintenance for me, right? Because it's always encouraging to read those exact same things that I'm taking a couple that's preparing to be married. I take them through it, and I go through it too, and I go, ah, that's actually probably something I could be worried about.

That's actually an area where I need to improve in my marriage. So no matter where you are, this message is for you. Second thing that I want to do is I want to define marriage, because there's two different definitions that I have found for marriage. So the first thing I always like to do when I come to one of these words is I just like to Google it, right?

I like to look it up in whatever dictionary Google sovereignly sees necessary to throw out there for me first, because it's not always the same dictionary. And I don't remember which dictionary this was, but this is what Google threw at me when I just searched for the word marriage. And I was like, ah, I don't know. According to the world, the word marriage means this.

It is a legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship. Now, on the surface, that doesn't seem bad, other than I know that we've changed the verbiage of that just a little bit in the world today to meet current standards, right? So that's a world definition of marriage. But let me read you what my Bible study asked.

It tells me that the definition of marriage is, and I love this, it's so simple, the permanent union of a man and a woman. Isn't that great? Like, that's the simplest definition of marriage that you can throw out there. And so that's what marriage is. Let's not look at what the world says that it is. It's just two people that are joined together. It's a man and a woman that's joined together in a permanent union.

With that being said, I think the best thing that we can do is read what the Bible says about the institution of marriage. And so I want to start off. In Genesis chapter 2, verse 15, it says, Then the Lord God took the man, and he put him in the garden of Eden, to cultivate it and to keep it. The Lord God commanded the man, saying, From any tree of the garden you may eat freely, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.

Then the Lord God said, It's not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to every beast of

the field. And whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. Excuse me. So the Lord caused, verse 21, a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept. Then he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh. At that place, the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man, and he brought her to the man, and the man said, This is now bone of my bones and

flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. The man and his wife were both. They were both naked, and were not ashamed. Now, before we get into the things that I want to say, I want to point something out to you, and that's just to bring a little bit of context.

Chapter 1 is the overall overview of the creation, the first six days of creation. But then in chapter 2, God goes into more detail, specifically about the creation of Adam. And he formed Adam from the dust, and as he formed Adam from the dust, he breathed life into his nostrils, and as he breathed life into his nostrils, he became a living being. And as Adam became a living being, we see that God put him in the garden.

And there's tons of things I could say about all that, but that's not my point for today. So God put him in the garden. As he put him in the garden, one of the very first things that God does, and I'm not totally sure just how long Adam was in the garden at this point in time before God decided he needed him a girl. But it's very early on in history, and one of the first things that God decides that man needs is man needs woman.

A wife. Man needs companionship. And so, as we look at verses 15 through 25, there's a handful of things I would like to point out to you. First of all, I want to make some observations. Second of all, I want to bring up some principles of marriage. So, the first thing I want to do is I want to make three observations. Three observations about God's creation of marriage.

The first thing that I want to point out to you is this. The first observation that I have is this. Marriage is God's. Idea. Marriage is God's idea. Now, I think that that's important for two reasons. The first reason why I think it's important for us to pay attention to the fact that marriage is God's idea is because it's God's idea, God gets to define exactly what marriage is

supposed to look like. The problem we're having in a lot of culture today, even within the church, is we're still looking to everybody else to define marriage for us. We're still looking to everybody else to tell us what they think marriage should look like. We look to the latest pop psychology. We look to the latest ruling that the Supreme Court has made. We look to our friends and we turn to everybody else to say, what should marriage look like?

What is normal in a marriage? What should I be thinking? What should I be doing? And we forget that marriage is God's idea. Therefore, if I want to understand what marriage is supposed to look like, if I want to know exactly what God desires of it, I should ask God, which means I should go to God's word. The best thing that we can do as individuals, the best thing we can do as friends of those

who come to us and say, I'm having trouble in my marriage, is to always take them back to God's word because marriage is God's idea. The second reason why it's important is because knowing that marriage is God's idea reminds us that marriage is God's, pay attention to this word, gift to humanity. Marriage is God's gift to humanity. You see, it was God's idea because he knew we needed something.

He knew we just needed something. We'll get to that in just a moment, but it was just God's love gift to us. God's love gift to humanity. And I point that out again because so many times in culture, what is marriage seen as? Marriage is seen as drudgery, right? Marriage is seen as this terrible thing to be shackled with, right? What's the old saying? The old ball and chain, right?

Like that's the worst description I can ever imagine using for a husband or a wife because we no longer view it as God's gift. We view it as a curse. And that's not how God wants us to view marriage because marriage was God's idea and it was his greatest gift to us. The second observation I make is this. God knew what Adam. Needed. God knew what Adam needed.

Now, if we were to go back to Genesis chapter one and we went through all the days of creation, it's always interesting because God ends almost every aspect of his creation with the same phrase. You probably know what the phrase is. If not, I'll tell you. It says, God saw the whatever that he created and it was good, right? Everything was good. And I love this because everything that God made was good.

Until it came to one thing. Because God looked at Adam and said, it is not good that man should be alone. Now, I'm not one of these people who sits back and says, God made a mistake in the beginning in creation because he made Adam without a partner. And then God was like, shoot, I screwed that one up. No, I'm going to, I'm going to now make him a woman. No.

Why did God give? It time before Adam or before he said, it's not good that man should be alone. As a matter of fact, later, we're going to see that Adam is going to name all of the animals, right? And as he names all of the animals, he sees that each has a male and a female, but there was no helper that was suitable for Adam. So why did God not initially give Adam a wife?

Because while God says it's not good that man should be alone, he needed man as a free moral agent because that's what man is to realize. It's not good that man should be alone. You see, Adam had to come to that place himself. I think now if you challenge me on this and say, Ryan, that's absolutely not what God's saying there. I'm willing to have that discussion, but I think that Adam is a free moral agent had

to come to the place himself where he realized, Hey, it's not good that I'm alone. And God saw Adam and God saw that there was no companionship for him. Does he have God? Yes. Does he have a job? Yes. And all of those things are good. Yes. They're wonderful. But he also knew that he needed companionship. And so he looked at Adam and says, it's not good that he should be alone.

And this is where I want to speak to some of you that are single and in the waiting room. God sees that you are lonely. God sees that you are alone and he knows and he knows what's best for you. And he is in the process of working on your behalf. And I think it's important. It's important for us to pay attention to that because the one thing everybody's scared

of when they're alone is, am I always going to be alone? Does anyone know? Does God even pay attention? Well, he does because it says right here, he saw that Adam was alone and he saw that it was not good. And so what does God say that he's going to give him? God says he's going to give him a helper. Now, one of the questions I always ask couples when I'm doing premarital counseling is I

say, okay. Now you tell me what you think the word helper means. And I make both people define it. I like to start with the guy partly because I like to watch him squirm for just a minute and go, uh, well, you know, uh, I think it means, uh, I think, uh, and it's great. I just, I just didn't let that happen for a minute because it's fun for me, right? I am.

It's great. I love it. I love my job. It, but I want to point something out about this word helper. In our culture, the word helper is a demeaning sort of word, right? Growing up or, uh, working in construction, uh, you always knew that the guy with all of the skill did the work and then he had a helper, right? And so many times we view that word in that way.

It is what has caused so many problems for men because they have looked at woman as his little helper. And it's what has caused women problem because, because they were viewed that way for so long, they will no longer be viewed as a helper. But we have to understand that this word has a great amount of strength to it because the idea of a helper is one who will come alongside one who will come alongside to strengthen. Now, I absolutely believe that God has established that men would be the leaders and that women would be the supporters.

I don't think that that's unbiblical at all. I know it flies in the face of culture and many people will shut me off because of that, but I can't help it. That's what the scripture says. And we'll get to that more as we continue on. With, uh, uh, with our study in marriage, but I wanted to tell you that this word helper is not weak at all. As a matter of fact, this exact same Hebrew word for help or helper is used elsewhere

in scripture. We actually read it last week. Psalm 121. I lift my eyes up to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help, same Hebrew word comes from the Lord. You see, that's a strong word. It's a word of great strength. And so what we have to realize is when he says, I will give him a helper that is suitable to him. He is not talking about someone who will just be his lackey and bring him all the tools.

He is talking about the greatest strength in a man's life, because I will tell you this. You show me a strong man and I will show you a strong woman who is right beside him. You show me a successful man and I will show you a strong and successful woman who has always been there to help him. Because that's how God set it up. He says, I will provide you a helper.

And then I want you to notice the next word that's used, a helper that is suitable for you. That word suitable literally means comparable or corresponding to. I actually really prefer the New Living Translation on this, because he says, I will provide him a helper who is just right. Isn't that great? You know why? Because God knows what we need. God knew what we need.

God knew what Adam needed. God knew what I needed. God knows what you need. And he provides you a helper, a strength who is perfectly fit for you. Just right for you. The third observation that I make is this. God brought her to Adam. God brought her to Adam. I always like to point out where God provided. Eve from. Because when God put a deep sleep on Adam, the first surgery ever took place.

It says that God removed one of the ribs from Adam's side. And from that rib, he created woman. Now, it's kind of interesting, isn't it? Because God took from somewhere that was close to Adam's heart. There's an old Hebrew, an old Hebrew proverb that says this. God did not take. He didn't take woman from the head so that she would rule over him. Nor did he take from the foot so that he would rule over her.

He took from the rib so that she would always be close to his heart. Because that's what God intends. And so God takes from the rib. And I want you to notice what it says. It says he brought her to the man. Verse 22. The Lord got fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man. And he brought her to them. The man. Now, I love this because it indicates that God was so intimately involved in this entire thing.

That God made someone who was perfect for Adam. And then he brought her to Adam. You know what Adam had to do to make this whole thing work out? Submit to God. That's all he had to do. He just had to let God do what God wasn't going to do. And again, I want to point this out from two perspectives. First of all, if you're here this morning and you're single, I want you to know God's going to bring you the right person.

You do not have to hit the clock. Right? You don't have to stress. You don't have to strain. You don't have to strive. Because God is going to provide the right person. Because he knows what you need and he is already working on it. I remember when I was in Bible college and me and one of my roommates, one of my best friends, he was the best man at my wedding.

We were commiserating over our loneliness at that point in time. Hanging out in our dorm room. He had just ended a very long relationship with a girl from back home. I had no relationship in sight. And so we were just a couple of miserable 20-year-old guys trying to figure out life. And I remember him saying something really foundational. Something really that has stuck out to me.

He said, you know, little Ryan. Again, that was my nickname in college. He said, you know, little Ryan, what if our wives aren't even saved yet? Like we can't find them yet because they haven't found Jesus yet. So they're not ready for us. And we're not ready for them. We kind of shrugged our shoulders for a minute and went, maybe. Turned up stavesaker and kept moving on with life, right?

And you know what was fascinating? My wife was not saved yet. My wife wasn't following Jesus at that point in time. As a matter of fact, my wife would not get saved until about a month before I moved back from California. And just happened to show up at the church. The church that my parents were attending around the same time that I started showing up at that very same church.

See, brothers and sisters, God knows what we need and he will provide it. And so if you're here this morning and you're single, quit striving and straining and allow God to bring you that right person. If you're here this morning and you're married, I want you to understand something about that person that God has provided for you. He brought that person to you.

Amen. Amen. And I point that out because that tells you just how important that person that you're married to is. That was not happenstance. It wasn't an accident. God fashioned that person to be the exact right person for you. And at the exact right time, he prepared you for each other and he brought you together. It wasn't too early and it wasn't too late.

It was at the exact right time in the exact right way. Brothers and sisters, if you don't think marriage is important to God, then you've not read very much of the Bible. Because it's one of the most oft discussed subjects in all of scripture. And at the heart of it, you will always see that God is bringing two people together for his glory and for man's benefit.

And so those are some observations about God bringing people together in marriage. Now, I also... We have about 20 or so minutes left here. I want to point out to you four principles of marriage. Four principles of marriage that we draw from this section in Genesis. And so I want you to look at verse 22. Let's read down to the bottom again. It says in verse 22,

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and brought her to the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh. Of my flesh, she shall be called woman. Because she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And they shall become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Four principles for marriage that I think are foundational in our lives. If we're to understand what Godly marriage... looks like. Number one, marriage means leaving. Marriage means leaving. Notice what it says in verse 24. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother. Marriage means leaving. That word to leave means to forsake or to leave behind.

Literally, it means to cut off. Now, let's talk about what it means to cut off. In the direct context, it says leave your mother and father. That means leaving behind the parental protection that you have always lived under. I will be honest. There was a time in my ministry where I didn't think this was an important point to make anymore. Because after all, a lot of people get married a little bit later.

They've already moved out of mom and dad's house because maybe they've gone to college or they're living on their own. And so you think to yourself, Do we really need to discuss the fact that a man leaves his father and mother? But what I have learned is that absolutely needs to be discussed. Because what I have come to understand is that a man leaves his father and mother.

And what I have come to understand is that there are lots of marriages that are destroyed because they will not leave behind the parental protection. The wife will never stop seeking out her father's advice more than her husband's advice. She will never stop seeking out her father's help more than the help of her husband. She will never respect her husband as much as she does her father.

And because of that, there is always an issue in the marriage because the man is always insecure. Because the man is always insecure. Because the man is always insecure. Because he feels like whatever he says and whatever he does is always measured against her father and he can't measure up. A lot of times for sons, it's that they will not leave behind the protection of their mother.

That's not the way my mom cooked it. That's not the way my mom did it. I'm going to seek out my mom's advice. I'm going to see what my mom has to say. And because they will not leave that behind, there is a strain on the marriage because the wife feels like she can't measure up. There's no real intimacy because he never talks to her. He only talks to his parents about things.

And you've got to leave behind that parental protection. Is it hard? Sometimes, yes. But you have to leave that behind. But you see, in our culture, I think there's two other things that we have to leave behind. In a non-direct context, it simply means to leave. And the second thing I think that couples have to learn to leave behind is they have to learn to leave behind the single life.

They have to leave behind the single life. You have to leave behind the single life. You have to leave behind any relationship with someone of the opposite sex that you had before. I remember a friend of mine's mom telling me this one time. She said, men and women can't have close relationships unless it's under the bonds of marriage. And I remember thinking, that's not true

because I grew up around all girls, right? Like, I grew up with a sister. I grew up with the Fry girls. I grew up with the Steel girls. I was around girls my entire life growing up. And I had very close relationships with a lot of girls. But you know what I've come to understand? I ain't going to lunch with any of them, right? Well, my sister's probably okay.

But I'm not going to lunch with any of those girls, just me and them. You know why? Because that's not healthy for my marriage. Even if nothing were to ever take place, even if no feelings were to ever be exchanged, there would always be an insecurity. There would always be an insecurity on the part of my wife because she's going, why is he going to lunch with other women?

Why is he going to coffee with other ladies? And listen, you have to leave that single life behind. It also means that that workplace relationship that you have, that guy, ladies, that you've always found some comfort in, in his attention, you have to leave that behind. Because the single life has to be completely left behind. Every relationship you had before is different now.

Because the priority that you have in your life is your spouse. You have to leave behind the single life. But there's a third one. And I think it's important because this is what I'm seeing happen a lot. You have to leave behind a life lived only, for yourself. You have to leave behind a life that is lived only for self. Because when you're single, Paul even says it,

you don't have to worry about whether or not there's a wife to please. You don't have to worry about whether or not there's a wife to take care of. You don't have to worry about whether or not there's kids to take care of or a husband to attend to or any of those kinds of things. You are free to live however you want and free to serve God as freely as you want to.

But once you're married, that's not true anymore. You have to leave behind the life that says, I do what I want to do when I want to do it. Fellas, that means sports can't be the most important thing to you any longer. Ladies, it means shopping can't be the most important thing to you any longer. It means you have to lay aside selfishness because the biggest thing

that will keep you from loving your spouse the way that you're supposed to is you. And too many people are living like they're not married and they're like, oh, I can just do whatever I want to. After all, it's my life. No, not anymore because you now belong to your spouse. You have to leave those things behind. So marriage means leaving. But the second thing that marriage means

is that marriage means being joined. Marriage means being joined. Notice what it says. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. To be joined. That word joined is a very interesting word because in the Hebrew it literally means to adhere to like glue. To adhere to like glue, right? So imagine if you will, you're putting something together

and you glue it together and now it's stuck. Now it's always together. You're never apart. Because that's what marriage is. Now you are always forever together. And the idea of that is that you're always a part of each other now. That's why divorce, and those of you that have been divorced can know this better than anybody else, is like losing a portion of you.

Because once you have adhered to each other, there can be no lack of consequences when those things are torn apart. You will always take a part of it with you. You're to adhere to each other. But I want to give you another word that I think might explain this a little bit more. The idea of being joined to also means commitment. It means commitment. To be joined to someone else

means to be always committed to them. I use that word commitment because that seems to be lacking in most marriages today. That commitment to make it work, no matter what, no matter what, no matter what, no matter what, that commitment to that person. Matter of fact, one of my favorite definitions in the book that I take kids, sometimes they're kids, that I take couples through when I'm doing premarital counseling gives a definition of marriage.

It is an unconditional commitment of two imperfect people. Isn't that great? An unconditional commitment of two imperfect people. And that's what it means to be joined together. It means to be lifetime committed to each other. That means you can't be joined to one another. You can't pull us apart. You can't get us apart because we're always stuck together. Now, you can view that commitment,

you can view that being joined to, you can view that adhering to in one of two ways. It can either be your cross to bear or it can be your freedom to live in. You see, commitment for some people becomes a cross to bear because they're not willing to give up themselves. They're not willing to give up their single life. They're not willing to leave behind. And so being committed

committed to a person becomes a cross that they bear. And when you talk about commitment, they go, yes, I'm committed to them. And it becomes a cross to bear, right? Why do we do that? Because we won't give up our selfishness. But it can also be the greatest freedom that you live in because you know that you are accepted no matter what. And one of the things I love about,

my wife the most, is that she accepts me warts and all. She accepts me for everything that I am. I always hear people joke and they say, I don't care if I go bald as long as I can get married first. As long as my wife sees me with a full head of hair first. Well, I'm here to tell you right now, I started losing my hair when I was 20. And one of the first things that my wife helped me with

was to get this type of shampoo called Nioxin that was supposed to help hold on to the hair, right? She saw it. She saw it. She saw it. She saw it. She saw me in the beginning. She knew where this thing was going. And she accepts me warts and all. And that commitment to us is not a cross that we bear. It's the freedom that we live in because that commitment sets both of us free

to be who God has called for us to be. Because now I don't live my life constantly worried about whether or not my wife loves me. I live my life the way God calls me to because I know that she does. She doesn't live her life always being worried about what I do. Whether or not I'm going to love her. She lives her life in the freedom of being who God has called her to be

because she knows I already do. And that commitment, that being joined to, that adhering to, becomes the greatest freedom that we live in. Number three, marriage means becoming one. Marriage means becoming one. It says at the end of verse 24, and they shall become one flesh. Now I want to point something out to you. When it says becoming one, and I'm going to show you how it says this in scripture,

oneness is not sameness. And I looked it up. Sameness is a word. I was like, did I just make that word up? No, I didn't. It's real. I looked it up on the Google machine and it said, gave me a definition even. Oneness is not sameness. You may be one, but you are not the same. I want to point something out to you. It says, verse 22, the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib

which he had taken out of man. He brought her to the man. And he said, this is now bone of mine. This is now my bones and flesh of my flesh. That's oneness. Because they are now one because they're made up of the same materials. She is a part of him. That's the adhering part. But notice what he says. But she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.

You see, while they are one, they are not the same. And the beautiful thing about two people coming together in marriage is that while you are united in marriage, you are still two very different individuals. And that's what makes you so good together. And that's what makes you so amazing together is that you are very different people who have come together as one.

One of the things that we talk about in premarital counseling is we talk about differences in marriage, differences in relationships. And you know what the psychology books all tell us is true. We are attracted to each other for how we're alike, but we stay together because of how we're different. Because we complete each other. And we make each other better.

Because of how we're different. Oneness is not sameness. Now, this idea of oneness, we have the physical picture of the sexual relationship, which is the beginning of that idea of oneness. But that is by far not the extent of the idea of oneness. Oneness goes so far beyond that. Oneness is in the intimacy that takes place between a man and a woman, not just in the physical,

the physical aspect of their relationship, but in every aspect of their relationship. Because that oneness is something that happens in every part of who they are. It takes part in the fact that they share with each other everything to the best of their ability that they can that goes on in their lives. It takes part in the fact that they share in each other's weaknesses and they share in each other's strengths, that they glory in each other's victories and they weep in each other's.

All of those things come together to create a oneness. As a matter of fact, just to break up the monotony, I always tell couples this. Do you remember when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie first came together and they started dating? I don't know if they ever got married or not. Do you remember what they called them? Remember that? Brangelina, right? That's what they all called them.

You know why they called them that? Because they were idiots. But that's exactly what it means to become one. Is you are so joined together now that your names are on the line. Your names now unite as one. Because you are together. That's the idea. I always tell couples, now put your names together. And it's so fun to watch us struggle through trying to put two people's names together.

It's so fun. I've actually determined that if you put Ryan and Aaron together, it's Ryan or Aaron, right? I mean, we were made for each other. That's just all that there is to it. So that oneness is what is supposed to take place and we are becoming one. Marriage means becoming one. Number four. And this is an important thing that I want you to know. And I want you to pay attention to

as we wrap up here this morning. Marriage is a process. Marriage is a process. I want to point out to you again what it says at the very end of verse 24. And they shall become one flesh. On the day that you stood before God in a gathered company of family and friends, you stood before a pastor, you said your marriage vows, you struggled to put a ring on each other's fingers

because your fingers were not in sync. Your fingers were swollen because you were nervous and it didn't work very well. But finally you got that ring on there. For all those things were said, your pastor stood before you and he said, I now pronounce you husband and wife. When God is joined together, let no one ever separate. In God's eyes, in the eyes of whatever state you were married in,

in the eyes of all your loved ones, you at that point in time became one. Because that's what the covenant was that God made for us. That you made with each other. And so at that point in time, physically, literally, in every way, you became one. However, what I always tell couples is, but in reality, you started the process of becoming one. You know what the word become in English means?

The word become means to begin to be. Now I love that definition. Because when you think about what it means to become one, it means to begin to be one. Meaning that the day that you said, what I do was the beginning of the process that you will go through for the rest of your lives together as a married couple of becoming one. And the best thing that we can do

is embrace the process. Because there are days where the oneness is amazing, where the marriage is amazing, where life is great. You're on the same page. You're completing each other's thoughts. You're completing each other's sentences and you're thinking, this is the greatest thing ever. I love you so much. And then there's every other day, right? Where you're like, what did I do?

What's going on? And your wife is going, what did I do? He used to be cute, right? Did he always fart like that? I can't imagine that was true. I do not. Funny story. Sidebar.

First time I ever farted in front of Aaron. We were in the spice aisle at Target. I don't remember what she was cooking or if we had to go get something for her mom or what. But we're in the spice aisle and I was like, oh, son. I bet I can make this silent. Nope, couldn't do it. She just looked at me like, what did you just do? I was like, now she knows that was only the beginning, right?

There are days like that. And on those days, you're still in that process of becoming one. Because you're learning. You're learning to forgive. You're learning to give grace. You're learning to love, even when it's not easy to love. You're learning that love is not a feeling, it's a commitment. Love is not a feeling, it's a covenant. And the vow that you made

had nothing to do with how you felt and had everything to do with what God was doing in your heart. Brothers and sisters, becoming one is a process. Your marriage is a process. Embrace the process. Again, one of the other definitions that I love that's in the book, that I use, is that marriage is the ultimate curriculum for love and holiness in the lives of men and women.

And you're on that path if you're married here this morning. And if you're not married yet and you're waiting for that person, don't worry, you're going to get on that path soon. Work on being who God wants you to be now. Maybe it'll be that much easier when God brings that person along. Brothers and sisters, these marriage relationships, they're important.

They're the foundation upon which our society is built. They're the foundation upon which the church is built. And they are the greatest expression of love that the world can ever see. And if there's ever a time we need to see that expression of love, it's now. Amen? Let's all stand.

And if you'd bow with me. Father, we come to you. And Lord, I thank you. I thank you for who you are and what your word has to say. I thank you for this gift of marriage that you've given to us. And Lord, I thank you for the gathered congregation that's here to hear these words. And Lord, may the words of your word sink deeply into our hearts. Father, correct us where we need to be corrected.

Encourage us where we need to be encouraged. And strengthen us where we have fallen short. Father, we thank you and praise you for who you are. Be with us as we go out from here, I pray. In Jesus' name. Amen. Be blessed.

In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. I just pray that you and your Holy Spirit would go with us and continue just to minister to our hearts, Lord, and change our lives. We love you and praise you. In Jesus' name. All God's people said. Amen. You guys have a wonderful week and God bless you.