Sunday Morning Service 8:30AM- Faithful Leadership Pt 1 - Pastor Ryan

All right. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. It's good to see you guys. I'm glad you're here. And happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. We celebrate you guys today. I invite you to stand with us. We'll pray and we'll get started. Oh, Lord, we thank you for another day. Lord, we just thank you for another opportunity to be here, Lord, to worship you, Lord God, to spend some time in your word. Lord, we ask your blessing upon

this time, Lord. Lord, help me to focus on you, Lord, to set everything that's going on in my life aside and to just simply worship you, Lord. Lord, you are worthy of all honor and glory and praise. And so, Lord, we want to give you that this morning. Father, we love you and we praise you in your name. Amen. Have a seat if you like. We'll continue on. Yes, we thank you for who we

are in you. Lord, it is in you that, Lord, that we have new purpose. That we have, that we find our identity. Lord God, we are your children. Lord God, your word says that who the Son sets free is free indeed. So, Lord God, if we've been set free, help us to live like it and act like it. Lord, help us to celebrate that freedom. Father, we love you. Would you guys go ahead and stand with me for this last one?

You're the same God yesterday, today, and forever, Lord God. Lord, the one who opened up the oceans, Lord God. You're the same God now. Lord God, you did the same thing for us, Lord, when you brought us out of sin. You closed that ocean behind us, Lord, so that there's no way we can go back. Lord, I know that we still occasionally fall, but Lord, you're so gracious

and merciful.

You're so kind, forgiving, Lord. And we just thank you. Thank you for who you are. We thank you that you are the same God then as you are now. And Father God, as we open up your word this morning, I pray that your Holy Spirit would just overflow us, overflow Pastor Ryan, Lord. Lord, move mightily in this morning. Move mightily in our lives. Move mightily in mine.

Father, we praise you, and we thank you, and we love you, and we love you, and we love you, and we love you, and we love you, and we love you, and we love you, and we love you, and we love you, and we love you. In Jesus' name, amen. Let's take some time and greet one another.

Good morning. If you could begin to locate your seat. Grab a bulletin. We'll get ready to go over some announcements. Welcome to Calvary Chapel. I'm glad that you have joined us. A few things to take note of in your bulletin. Over on the left-hand side are the things that go on throughout the week, so take note of that. Over in the middle section of your bulletin, a reminder that Agape

Fruits is tonight. Also, there is a new home fellowship starting up at the Rizzios. All the info is right there. Every Thursday evening at 6 o'clock starting June the 5th, and there is a sign-up sheet out in the lobby if you are interested in that. Dinner and child care is provided. Fellas, we have a men's breakfast coming up next Saturday, or I guess it's this Saturday.

It all depends on how you say that. So it's the 17th. So join us for that good time of some food and some fellowship. And then before we get to the last couple of things here, where I know she's here. There she is. I'm going to have Melinda come up and share something with us about the Baby Bottle Project. So Melinda, could you come up and join us for a second? Hi, everybody. I'm Melinda with Family Life Services, and we just

wanted to kick-start the Baby Bottle Campaign of taking one. There's several in the back or in the foyer area. And we just want you to take it home and put some change in there. Anything that you can put in there, it helps. It makes a difference. And then you return them back on Father's Day. So it's just a great reminder that our mamas in the community need some support. And I'm not just

asking for a financial, but I'm asking for prayer. Every time you get some change together, you pray for them. They need lifelines. Many of them are struggling. Many of them don't have an established family. They have their own moms that they don't have a great relationship. And so us there at FLS become their moms or aunties or whatever you want to put us in. But they need more. And this money

goes to good use. We've had a sweet young, sweet lady who provided some money for a scholarship for parenting classes. And we just had a young man go through it. Finished it. Didn't even want to leave on the last day. And I was like, okay, this is the last day. And she said, I'm going to last one. Like, you're okay. Like, everything's good. You'll be good if you need anything. And he

was like, still sitting there. Still sitting there. So they need support. And that's where it goes. When they can't afford the parenting classes, this is one of those places that it'll get used. That's it. So thank you. If anything, pray. Pray, pray, pray.

All right. So those are available in the back. And if we run out of those, Melinda, will you bring more next week if we need them? She's going to bring some second service. Perfect. Very good. Also, one last thing. It is Mother's Day. And so thank you to all of the moms. I'm always so appreciative of all of the ladies in my life that I call my mom. Whether it's my actual mother, who is kind of the reason I'm here. Not

just because without her, well, I couldn't be here, period. But her prayers are why I am in the position that I'm in today, both spiritually and everything else. But all of the other ladies that have had a hand in my life, I'm so thankful for. And so make sure that you let those moms, know how fantastic they are. And we at Calvary Chapel would like them to know how fantastic they

are. So see the ushers afterwards, because they've got a little something for you. So, all right. Those are the things that are going on. If you would make sure that your mobile device is silenced. And for our responsive reading this morning, we are going to be in Psalm 11. Psalm 11. Looking at the New American Standard for this, just so that we all sound the same.

If you need a copy, should be one around you. As you're turning to Psalm 11, if you are able, please stand in the honor of the reading of God's Word. I will read the odd verses if you will follow along with Pastor Allen and the even verses. Psalm 11, for the choir director, a Psalm of David. In the Lord I take refuge. How can you say to my soul, flee as a bird to

the mountain? For behold, the wicked bend the bow. They make ready their arrow upon the string to shoot in darkness at the upright in heart. If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do? If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do? The Lord is in his holy temple. The Lord's throne is in heaven. His eyes behold. His eyes test the

sons of men. The Lord tests the righteous and the wicked. And the one who loves violence, his soul hates. Upon the wicked, he will rain snares. Fire and brimstone and burning wind will be the portion of their cup. And read verse 7 with me. For the Lord is righteous. He loves righteousness. The upright will behold his. Father, we praise you that you are the place where we can take refuge in our most difficult

and trying times. And Lord, we can rest in your righteousness. And so Father, as we spend time in your word now, I just ask that you administer to our hearts by the power of your Holy Spirit. Father, that you would reveal things that need revealed. Lord, that you would teach us where we need instructed. And so Father, we seek you now in Jesus name. Amen. You may be seated.

And if you would open up in your Bibles. to the book of 1 Timothy, chapter 3. 1 Timothy, chapter 3. We're returning now to a study we started a few months ago through the pastoral epistles. We took quite a little break between things that happened with my dad, me traveling, and doing our Easter series. We've been out of the book of 1 Timothy for a couple of months now.

So I'll just quickly catch us back up to speed. 1 Timothy, of course, was written by Paul to Timothy, who was a young pastor. And as he wrote to Timothy, in its direct context, first of all, it's instructions to a young pastor. But in a broader context, it's really instructions for the church. Paul knew his time on earth was drawing to a close, and he wanted to instruct the church on how they needed to conduct themselves

in a lost world and to be able to be an effective, healthy church. And so the theme, we said, of all of these pastoral epistles, 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus, is the idea of faithfulness. That Timothy and Titus, both as young pastors, needed to be faithful, and they needed to raise up faithful leadership. And so what we covered so far is that in chapter 1, he told them, he told Timothy, you need to be faithful to the Word, to the purity of the Word, and to really teach the Word.

In the second chapter, he told them that he needed to be faithful to prayer. That he as an individual and they as a leadership team needed to be faithful to prayer. And he told them that they as a leadership team needed to be faithful to prayer. And he told them that they as a church needed to be committed to prayer and faithful in the way that they pray. And of course, in the second half of chapter 2,

he deals with church order. In particular, he gave a word to the ladies. And now as we come to chapter 3, he's going to start talking about faithful leadership. Chapter 3, I've given the title Faithful Leadership. And what he's going to do is he's going to go through and give the qualifications for elders in the church, and he's going to give the qualifications for deacons in the church.

And so we pick up in chapter 3, verse 1, and this is what it says. It is a trustworthy statement. If any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from sin, from the love of money.

He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? And not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

Next week we'll handle the deacons, but for today we're going to deal with the elders. He says anyone, it is a trustworthy statement that if any man aspires to the office of an overseer, he desires a fine work. It's a fine work that he desires to do. So let's for just a moment talk about what an overseer is. An overseer in different translations can also be referred to as a bishop

or as an elder. We tend to choose the term elder in our church, and many today usually use the term, elder or overseer. But the idea of one is that they, is an elder is the one who oversees the spiritual well-being and care of the church. It's a little bit different from a deacon. We get our idea of a deacon more from the book of Acts, where we see those handling more of the physical needs of the church

and the church body. But the job of the elder, the role of the elder, is one who's, one who handles the spiritual well-being of the church. And so within our church, we have a role of elders that, that help support things. Sometimes they're often referred to as pastors. Pastor elder can be a position or just an elder. But he says he's, he desires a fine thing.

In other words, he desires a noble thing. This is a noble task to seek after in your life. It's a good thing to want to desire that position of church leadership. But in order to fill that position, one must be qualified in a certain number of ways. You can't just throw anyone up there to be an elder. As a matter of fact, one of the issues that sometimes, a young and growing church can have

is that they don't have any elders, either elder in age or elder in faith, because I do think that those are two very different things because someone could be, no offense, very old, but not very mature in their faith, not really elder in their faith. They're, they're two very different things. And if they don't have that within the church, it's easy for the church to get off track very easily because you don't have that elder statesman stepping up and saying, hey, let's get back to what the word has to say. We're blessed to have some elders in our church that help keep things on track.

And just so you know, so we've been, as the, as our church board, we've been going back through a book. It's called Calvary Distinctives, and it sort of lays out the leadership style of Calvary Chapel. And I was reminded that it's probably good to let people know kind of what that is. And this feels like as good a time as any to insert that. Calvary Chapel follows what Chuck Smith always referred to

as the Moses model. And the Moses model is this. When the children of Israel were in the wilderness, Moses was in charge of a large multitude, a large congregation of people. And so every day he would, from morning to evening, hear out all of the issues going on within the camp. And he would handle all of the leadership of the entire camp of the people. Well, his father-in-law showed up to bring his family back

to him after they had escaped Egypt. And he watched Moses for a handful of days. And he came to Moses and he gave him some really wise advice. He said, hey, listen, you're gonna wear yourself out. You're gonna wear yourself out doing this because one man, you cannot handle this entire congregation of people. You need to appoint for yourself elders over groups of people.

You will teach the people the principles and the precepts of God. You will teach the elders the principles and the precepts of God. And then those elders will be in charge of the people. The bigger issues will come to you, but the day-to-day issues will be handled by the elders. And so the idea behind that is that Moses as the leader hears directly from God,

and shepherds the people, but then he puts others in charge of shepherding the people so that he's not the only one that does it. And that's the idea of the way that Calvary chapels have always been set up in the past is to follow this model. And so we have a senior pastor, that's me, and I set the vision for the church based on what I'm hearing from the Lord. But I am accountable to elders and I am accountable to deacons to where I don't just go off my own direction.

If they sense me getting into anything that maybe isn't biblical, they say, hey, we need to kind of think about what we're doing here, and I don't make decisions in a vacuum. I then put elders in charge, elders and deacons, in charge of doing things within the church, because quite frankly, I can't make every hospital visit. I can't visit everyone in their home. I can't handle all of those needs, nor should I be the one that does that, because then the body can't use their giftings within the church.

My job is not to be a one-man show in the church. My job is to empower the body to use the giftings that God has given to them so that the body works together. So that's the idea, and so when we follow that idea, we look here and we say, well, who are those leaders supposed to be? Well, these are the qualifications of what these leaders are supposed to have.

Now, as we look at these, I want to point a couple of things out. Number one, no one's ever going to perfectly keep all of these qualifications, because if you're looking for one person to keep all of these qualifications, his name is Jesus, right? And that's the person that you look to. However, these are some things that we should pay attention to. These qualifications should be present,

present in the life of a leader. They should be desired and pursued by the life of a leader, and they should be growing in the life of a leader. And so no one's going to be perfect in these. Everybody's going to make mistakes. But it should be their desire, their pursuit, and something that they're growing in in their life. The second thing I'll point out to you is this.

These are not just valuable characteristics for a leader. These are good indicators of godly character and spiritual maturity. And so, if you don't desire the position of an elder, it's good to pay attention to these, because this is what spiritual maturity is supposed to look like. And you should think to yourself, are these a part of who I am? Are these characteristics a part of who I am?

And am I becoming spiritually mature? So there's 15 things that he goes through here, right? So pay attention to these. We'll try to move quickly through them, although I've got, I mean, I've got 45 minutes, so that's quite a bit of time for each one. It's Mother's Day, right? All right, number one, an overseer then must be above reproach. Actually, I put blameless up there

because it's an interchangeable word. They are to be above reproach. The idea is blameless. In other words, the idea behind blameless and above reproach is that nothing to hold onto. There's nothing to hold onto. In other words, they live a life that is seen as righteous. They live a life that is seen as righteous, and there's no accusation that can stick to them.

Again, this does not mean that one is perfect. It means that one has kept their accounts short, and they lead a life that is righteous. And when one in a position of leadership fails, they must quickly deal with it, not only with God, but with anyone else that it may have affected in the church, so that there can be no foothold, so that there can be no stronghold. I'm gonna be honest with you and say that church leadership has been under major attack, probably, especially in the last 10 years.

And it's because of the, the abuse of church leadership. And I'm not talking people abusing church leadership. I'm talking about church leaders being abusive. We've seen it within the Catholic church with the sexual issues that have taken place. We've seen it within the Protestant church with the sexual issues that have taken place. We've seen it with abusive leadership

as far as lording authority and not truly leading with love. And all of these things are issues that came up, and at no point in time did the person find themselves blameless. In other words, at no point in time did the person say, this is where I failed. This is where I need accountability. I need someone to step in and help me here. No, instead what they did is they continued on,

and anyone that confronted them was told, if you bring it up again, you get fired. That should never be in a church. That should never happen in a church. Because I, as the pastor, am held to a higher accountability than everybody else. And if the church board sees something that I'm doing that's not right, then I should be held accountable for it. And if I see one of my leaders

doing something that's not right, I will hold them accountable for it. And it shouldn't be a situation where abusers are protected. It shouldn't be a situation where people living in sin are protected, because that tells the entire body and anyone else watching, if you're in the right position, it doesn't matter how you live. Because the rules don't apply to you.

We see it in the church. We see it in government. We see it all over the place in leadership right now. And as leaders, we are to be blameless. We are to be above reproach. Nothing that can be held onto. And so that's the first qualification. Kind of sets a pretty good bar there in the beginning. Can we all agree with that? So number one, they are to be blameless.

Number two, they are to be the husband of one wife. They are to be the husband of one wife. Now I already shared with you my particular view of the end of chapter two, that I feel like women can be used in ministry in lots and lots of ways. As a matter of fact, when we get down to deacons, he will give specific instructions for women underneath the aspect of deacons.

But I feel like based on what I study in scripture, that when it comes to an elder or a pastor, that that is reserved for men, not because men are better than women, not because men are far superior to women, but because God will hold men accountable, whether they take that role or not. So he says the husband of one wife. Now let's say what that does not mean. That does not necessitate marriage.

If it necessitated marriage, Paul couldn't have been an elder. Jesus couldn't have been an elder, right? It doesn't mean you have to be married. It carries with it a different idea than that. It also does not mean, at least as far as my study and understanding is concerned, it does not disqualify someone that has been divorced. I know that there are some churches that say

if you've ever been divorced, you can never serve as an elder because it says the husband of one wife. And if that's the case, especially in the case of divorce and remarrying, I don't see that here. And I'll explain why in just a minute. And as a matter of fact, I think sometimes the church has handled divorce so poorly that we have absolutely destroyed people that have been divorced and allowed people or forced people to remain in abusive marriages that they should have never been in because after all, God hates divorce.

God does hate divorce. God also hates to see anyone be abused. As a matter of fact, it's pretty clear in Scripture that if you do that to someone, God's coming for you, either on this side of eternity or on the other side of eternity. And what I enjoy about it, you know, is that, you know, when you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship that you do not want to be as someone that God comes for on the other side of eternity.

And so, it doesn't mean that you can't, you can't be someone who's been divorced. As long as it's been handled biblically, as long as the proper steps have been followed for restoration, not only of you, but of relationships that need restored, it does not necessarily disqualify those that have been divorced. So what does it mean? Well, literally, when it says the husband of one wife, it means a one-woman man, a one-woman man.

And the idea behind that is one who is faithful, faithful in his affections and his attachments to his wife. One who is faithful in his affections and his attachments to his wife. This means that, that an elder cannot have more than one wife. Pretty easy to deal with in the United States of America because there's laws about that. A little harder to deal with in some of the other countries.

And that, and in some other countries where polygamy is allowed, this becomes a real hot-button issue. Because if you got saved and you already had four wives, what do you do? Well, I mean, those are situations they have to deal with in those kinds of countries. In the United States of America, it's a little bit easier because there's laws regarding that sort of thing.

However, it also means that you can't have a side chick, right? Like, like, either, either in action, listen, either in action or in thought. It can't be, it can't be someone else that you also devote part of your time and your energy to. You are to be committed to a wife, both in your affections and in your actions. So the husband of one wife. Number three, they are to be temperate, temperate.

The word temperate means self-controlled. Not given to extremes or mood swings. Now is where we really start dealing with some people, right? Now is where you really start dealing with some individual hard stuff. And these get a little bit, these get a little bit interesting, a little bit difficult sometimes to look at. Because, because you have to be a self-controlled individual

to be involved in ministry. You can't one day be up here and the next day down here. You have to know that, that every day you're even in your life. You're pretty even in your emotions. You can't be somebody who's constantly given to mood swings. And quite frankly, you have to be somebody that has a certain amount of self-control in your life. In every area of your life.

You have to be self-controlled with your anger. We'll deal with that in just a minute. You have to be self-controlled, I believe, in your diet. Because at some point in time, it becomes a really bad witness if you're not self-controlled in that sort of way. Because, because honestly, gluttony is a sin. And I think sometimes that's the one that we avoid. You have to be self-controlled in, in the way that you handle

your relationships with people. And not constantly flying off the handle at everybody. There has to be a certain amount of self-control in your life. Maybe we can substitute in other words, there should be discipline in your life. You should be disciplined in the way that you handle yourself. That's why not everybody can be an elder. Because you need to be somebody who has a self-controlled

disciplined sort of life. And so, blameless husband of one wife, temperate. Or self-controlled. Number four, prudent. The word prudent means sensible and of a sound mind. I think I just got disqualified. I'm just kidding. Sensible and of a sound mind. The idea is to think clearly and with clarity. To think clearly and with clarity. In other words, you need to be someone who is sensible

in the way that you handle your life. You need to be someone who is sensible in the way that you handle your finances. You need to be someone who is sensible in the way that you handle relationships. And people. And everything else. Have you ever been around someone who is just overly eccentric? And you're like, man, you're a really fun person to be around,

but I don't want you in charge of anything. Because I don't know from one day to the next exactly what I'm going to expect from you. Because you may come up with the craziest thing in the world. And I'm not talking wild steps of faith. I have no problem with bold steps of faith. I'm talking about people that you don't know what to expect from one day to the next.

I've worked around people like that. And I'm here to tell you right now, it's miserable. I've worked for people like that. And I'm here to tell you right now, it's miserable. Because nothing makes sense about what they do. And you're like, man, you've got to get yourself a plan together. Like, you need a vision that you have to follow. To be sensible, you need a direction that you're going.

And everybody else needs to know that direction. And so he says, you need to be someone who is prudent in the way that you handle yourself. Number five, you need to be respectable. Respectable. The word respectable means orderly and dignified. Some of your translations may even say of good behavior. Of good behavior. I think that's kind of an interesting translation

that's used there. In other words, you need to be somebody who lives the life. One of the commentators that I read said this. I think it was David Guzik. He said, to be respectable means to live a life in accord with the position that you hold. To live a life in accord with the position that you hold. In every new phase of ministry that I've moved into, I've realized that I'm held to a higher level of accountability.

And I've moved into a higher level of the need to be respectable and of good behavior. I was very early in my 20s when I first started into ministry. As a matter of fact, I was, I think I was still 21 years old when I first moved into ministry and started leading a college ministry. And I got to tell you, those early years, I had to learn a lot of things about what it meant to be respectable because I think you know me well enough.

I mean, imagine me before maturity, right? I mean, there it is. I mean, some of the things that I said and did and I look back and I'm like, well, that, that was a bad decision. You know that whole, there's a rule or there's a person behind every rule, right? Well, I had to learn some of those things the hard way. And I could tell you some stories that I can't tell you from the pulpit about some things

I had to learn along the way about being respectable and that, that I was held to a higher level of accountability. I can't joke like that because I'm held to a higher level of accountability. I can't allow that to go on because I'm held to a higher level of accountability. And as I've moved on in ministry and as I've moved on in life, I've realized, hey, I can't do that anymore.

From being a youth pastor to being a senior pastor, I went, oh man, I've got to change some things. And that's still a struggle for me because I'm in a respectable position. Every now and then I'll make a joke and my, okay, Mother's Day, right? My mom will look at me and she'll say, just don't forget you're a pastor. And I'm like, okay, that's, that's a good word.

That's a good word from my mom right now because I, I needed to hear that in my life. But that should be who we are. We should be people that are respectable, that people look at us and go, their life looks different than everybody else around them. They hold themselves to a higher level of accountability. And listen, in order to be in that position, that's what it's going to take.

That's why not just everybody can do this. Because I'll have young men come to me and they say, well, I think I want to be in leadership in the church. I'm like, great. Start acting like it. Start acting, holding yourself to a higher level of accountability. Be respectable in everything that you do. Treat your parents the way that you're supposed to treat them.

I tell, I tell teenagers this all the time, I'm like, listen, if you want to be respected, you have to show respect. And if you want to, you want to be respectable. You have to show respect. If you want to be respectable, you have to show that respect to other people. And it starts in small areas of our lives, but that's what we ultimately want to become is those who are respectable.

Number six, hospitable. Hospitable, willing and able to open their homes to friend and stranger. Willing and able to open their homes to friend and stranger. So I've decided that my test that I'm going to come up with is I'm going to find random people on the street. All they tell me are this male, don't make enbarrassment. Those are fine, they don't do anything, it's dangerous, and clearly just times, I don't

want to be rude at him. I just want to be equitable in every way, as they say. If you fits in between us then you Impossible to expand towards and disable them. But remember again, it's like, is this normal and reasonable? Is it always like this? Is it? But every time somebody wants to be an elder, I'll be like they're going to stay at your house tonight. I'm just kidding.

It'd be great, though, wouldn't it? Like I think I want to be an elder in the church. Great. That guy's coming over tonight, and he'll be there at six. Have dinner ready for him and a bed ready. You'd be like, never mind now. You care for those that maybe nobody else would care for. And you understand that your home is no longer your own. Your life is no longer your own.

Your things are no longer your own because they belong to God. And you will use them as God sees fit because that's being hospitable. It's caring for those that are around you. And some people have this gift, but some form, and to a level that I don't even always understand. But some form of it needs to be visible in the life. Of someone who God is going to use.

Number seven, they are to be able to teach. Able to teach. In other words, you should be able to handle God's word properly. This is why you have to wait sometimes with people to put them into ministry. To put them into some sort of a position of leadership. Especially as an elder. Because you need to know that they can handle God's word in a proper sort of way.

Because I've seen young men. And I'm like, man, that's a really gifted young man. It's a very talented young man. But then I listen to them try to explain God's word. I'm like, but they don't know how to teach. So they can serve, but I don't know if they're ready yet to be in some sort of a position where they're teaching. Because they can't communicate their way out of a paper bag.

And that's an important thing to be able to do. You need to be able to communicate God's word. Listen, when it comes to being able to teach, sometimes it'll take place in an avenue like this. Where you're in public. Because the idea is either in public or in public. Or in private. And some people are gifted. And I have elders that are gifted to be able to stand up here and teach God's word in an expositional way from a stage.

And then I have other elders that are made to teach God's word in a one-on-one sort of a setting. They can handle God's word. They can explain God's word. They know God's word. But they're made for a small group setting. And that's okay. Because that's what God has made them to do. Because they're great at the one-on-one. They're great at the interaction. They're great at the small group study.

And those are both very important aspects of being able to teach. But if you want to be in the position of an elder. And I'm speaking especially to some of you men and young men in here right now. If you want to be in the position of an elder, get into the word. I would tell anybody, I think if they said, I think I want to be in a position of leadership. I would be like, great!

Have a daily devotional life. Start there. Because if you can get into God's word every day and be disciplined enough to be in God's word every day. Then you can probably be disciplined enough to be like your brother and sister. enough to study God's Word, and then probably be disciplined enough to teach God's Word. Because in order to teach the Word, it's a discipline that you have to have in your life.

And again, I remember somebody telling me at a young age, because I wasn't a very disciplined young man, they said, my only concern with you in ministry is if you're going to be disciplined enough to put in the work that will be required to teach God's Word every single week. And that was a word I needed to hear at that point in time in my life, because I looked at it, I listened to that word that was from the Lord, and I said, you know what, you're right, I need to build in that discipline into my life. I need to get disciplined about the way that I handle that so that I can be able to teach. And brothers and sisters, God wants to use all of you in this way.

God wants to use all of you in some way to teach God's Word to someone. Do you know that? I mean, we relegate this to elders and pastors, and listen, maybe in the church setting that's true. But all of you are probably parents or grandparents or aunts and uncles or something along those lines in someone's life, and God wants to use you to give out the Word to those people.

You should pray that God would give you the ability to communicate what He has taught to you to them, because that's an important part of who we are as believers in Jesus Christ, to be able to communicate your testimony to other people. And so they are to be able to teach. Number eight, it says, Now, I'm going to get mildly controversial because it's what I like to do. Actually, I don't like to do it, but it's just what I do.

And I'm going to share my thoughts on this with you. First of all, I'm going to share with you what I read in almost every commentary. This is not a complete prohibition from alcohol, but it is a strong discouragement from alcohol for the life of a leader. And I'm here to tell you right now, from my perspective, I see zero room for alcohol in the life of a leader.

That's me. I see zero room for it. You know why? Because somebody sees, and somebody stumbled. I've worked with so many people that have come out of alcoholism, that have battled that their entire life, and all they need to do is see a church leader drinking, and they're like, oh, so it's okay for me too. Well, I can do this. Next thing I know, three weeks later, they're calling me saying, hey, I fell back into it

again, and I don't even know if I'm saved anymore. And it's all because they saw a church leader drinking alcohol. I don't see room for it in the life of a leader. Now, is there room for it in the life of a Christian? That's between you and Jesus. Scripture does not completely prohibit alcohol being used by believers in Jesus Christ. But my question for you, but it does say not to be drunk with wine.

That's when it becomes a sin. My question for you is, do you know when it's time to stop? Do you know when it's time to stop drinking alcohol? Do you know when it's time to not get drunk? Do you have that kind of self-control in your life? Because remember, self-control is one of those things as well. My other question for you is this, are you stumbling anyone else, or are you stumbling

yourself? And then my third question for you is this, is that helping you in your walk with Jesus Christ, or is it harming you in your walk with Jesus Christ? Again, those things are between you and Jesus. Only you can answer those questions between you and the Lord. I know for me how I feel about it, and for me how I feel about it, I've never seen anything

but pain with alcohol. I've never, ever been a part of any situation. I've never been in a situation where it's been like, man, this is just the most joyous thing. It usually ends with, and then we call the police, or, and then they passed out in my bathtub. And that's not only when I was in high school, but it's also my family that I've been around, where it's always ended really ugly.

And so, as a leader, the distinct stance scripturally is not addicted to wine. For me personally, I just don't see room for it in the life of a believer. Do with that what you will. You can send all. You can send all emails to notmyproblem.com, and they will be responded to post-haste.

Which leads us to the next one, not pugnacious. Have you ever used the word pugnacious in a sentence? I have never used the word pugnacious. I'm like, New American Standard Translators, what are we doing here? No one has ever used this word. Some dude's like, they're going to like this one, right? So what does the word pugnacious mean? Well, the word pugnacious means not violent, not estranged.

I'm like, could you have just used the word violent? Like, not violent. That's what you're not supposed to be. Which is why you should not direct your emails to me in a violent sort of way about what I just said. But the idea is this. Someone who has not given over to violence in their lives. Now, you would think that that wouldn't be a problem. You would be wrong.

Because I don't care what age a man is, you still got it in you, right? What's that old Toby Keith song? I'm not as good as I once was. But I'm as good once as I ever was, right? It's kind of the idea. Like, that's what we are as men. And we have to have self-control. And if we have to have self-control, that means we can't be given constantly to violence. It can't be who we are.

We can't be always out looking for a fight. Not pugnacious. And then I want you to notice the next one that he says. Not gentle. Or, no, that we are. Yes, please, stop being so gentle. Stop acting just like Jesus. I tried to look up the word gentle. Gentle to see if it had some great, like, meaning or definition. It means gentle. It's one of those words that sort of, it's almost like an onomatopoeia, right?

It just sort of speaks for itself. Like, it doesn't actually, it doesn't actually fit that definition. But you hear gentle. And you know exactly what it means the moment that you hear it. But I did love what David Guzik had to say. He said, if you want to be gentle, follow the example of Jesus. Now, in our culture, gentle is usually seen as weak, right? Like, we think someone who's really gentle in the way that they handle themselves,

like, they're just, they're the weakest person on the face of the earth. But if you look at Jesus, like, sometimes I think we forget that Jesus was a man's man, right? Like, what was Jesus' job, right? Like, Jesus was a carpenter in an age where they didn't have power tools. Like, I don't think Jesus was some milquetoast-looking guy who was super pale and just stayed in the library all the time.

Nothing wrong with that, but that's just not who Jesus was. Jesus was out working, right? Jesus worked with his hands. And even though Jesus was as gentle as could possibly be, what happened when Jesus walked into the temple and saw that his father's name was being demeaned, that the place where people were supposed to find God was being defiled? What did he do?

Well, in a completely self-controlled way, he started flipping tables over. I don't think Jesus was in a fit of rage. I don't think he was being pugnacious at all. I think Jesus was just passionate about what was going on. And so he flipped over all the tables. And so being gentle doesn't mean that you can't still be a man. Being gentle doesn't mean that you can't still have passion.

Being gentle doesn't mean that you can't still take a strong stand. It means in the way you handle people, you're gentle. Because I'm here to tell you right now, at any point in time can you jump up to being more harsh. But once you've been harsh, it's super hard to come back to being gentle. I just know that from working with people. That once you've been harsh with them in a time when you should not have been,

it's really hard to come back and then be gentle with them. Because that's the view they will always have in their mind of you. Is as someone who is very harsh. You are so much better to start off being gentle with someone. And then if necessary, start flipping tables. But it's always good to be gentle. Because that's who Jesus is. And listen, if that's not who you are, Jesus can change that about you.

Jesus can change that about your character and nature. Because he's able to take the most harsh. Hardened of sinners and make them the most gentle of people. You know how I know that? Because I've been around them. I can't tell you how many people I know that before they came to know Jesus, I would not have wanted to be around them very much. Because they were harsh people who were ready for a fight every time they turned around.

I've got a very good friend who has been pastoring churches forever. And he still has it in him. But I'm here to tell you right now, he's a gentle individual. And he's a compassionate person. And he's a completely different guy than all the stories that I heard growing up. And it's because of the difference that Jesus made in his life. It's because of the difference that Jesus has made in him.

And so as leaders and as men, we are to be gentle as we follow the example of Jesus. Number 11, we're to be peaceable. Peaceable. The idea of peaceable is not quarrelsome. Not always fighting over something. Now listen. This word is mildly different from pugnacious because that carries with it the idea of violence or striking. This carries with it the idea of constantly quarreling with people.

In other words, always arguing with people. And I'm just here to tell you right now, in the world that we live in today, we need leaders in churches that don't just want to start an argument with everybody. We have enough of that in the world. We have enough of that on social media. We have enough of that in the government. We have enough of that in your workplace.

We need people. We need people. We need people who are peaceable. Remember what Jesus said? He said, blessed are the peacemakers. In other words, they're always looking for the path to peace. They're always looking for the path to restoration. They're always looking for that path to bring people back together. And that's the people that we need running the church.

That's the people that we need leading other people. It's people who are always looking for the path to restoration. Not people who are always looking to divide. I see it with friends of mine on social media now. They will post their theological point. In the most argumentative way that they possibly can. And then be shocked when people argue with them. Why is everybody being so negative?

Well, because you started a fight. Like that's why they're being so negative. And that's the funniest thing to me is when people go out and start a fight and they can't believe anybody fought back. I'm like, what did you expect them to do? Like you just attacked everything that they believed in. You have to do it gently. If you're going to change someone's mind, it has to be gentle.

And so we are to be peaceable in the way that we handle ourselves. Number 12. Free from the love of money. Free from the love of money. I like the way that the Amplified Bible translated this. Not covetous or greedy for wealth, but financially ethical. Not covetous or greedy for wealth, but financially ethical. Boy, a lot of them have fallen through this, haven't they?

When Billy Graham first got into ministry, it was pretty early on, and somebody tried to bring an accusation. And he said, you know what? We will live above reproach in everything. It was a false accusation. But he said, we will live above reproach in everything that we do. And these are the three principles that anybody that works for me, that anybody that's a part of this ministry is going to abide by.

You don't touch the money, you don't touch the women, and you don't touch the glory. Those are the three principles he lived by. And because of that, there was no article that came out about, about Billy Graham after he died. There was no accusations that came out about Billy Graham after he died. Because he lived free from the love of money. He did not allow that financial stuff to be the problem that he had.

And quite frankly, Chuck Smith lived his life the exact same way. And you didn't read the things about him after he died. Listen, we have a problem in our culture. And the problem in our culture is greed. And I don't care which side of the political, aisle somebody sits on, it's a major problem in our culture. I've watched it happen over and over again with everything.

I remember when baseball stadiums just had sweet names, like Wrigley Field and all those kinds of things. And now they have brands. You ever notice that? Like when I was fresh out of college and was living in Kansas City, there was a concert venue up there called Sandstone. And all of the originals still call it Sandstone. But then it became T-Mobileson. And it was a big hit.

And it was a big hit. And it was a big hit. And it was a big hit. And all these different kinds of things. And now nobody knows what it's called anymore because it's all about the money. Everything's about money. Who can you pay the most? Who can be the highest bidder? And we have a problem in the church with the same thing. I remember, I probably shared this before, when I worked construction,

any of the guys that I worked with that knew that I was going to go into ministry, they were like, oh, yeah, you want to make all that money. And then I got into ministry, I'm like, what were they talking about?

But that becomes the focal point of things. And you know why they said that? Because there were people out there living that way. There were people out there that were fleecing the flock of God all the time. And that's not the way that it's supposed to be. Friends, if we look at what God's plan for biblical leadership is, it looks a lot different than what we see in most of the world today.

Can we agree with that? And so he says, free from the love of money. Number 13. He manages his own. He manages his own household well. Manages his own household well. Matter of fact, I'm going to read this whole thing. Notice what it says. Verse 4. He must be one who manages his household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. But if a man does not know how to manage his own household,

how will he take care of the church of God? One must first demonstrate leadership at home. Because home is where Christianity is first demonstrated. One must first demonstrate. One must first demonstrate leadership at home. Now, I do want to point something out. Kids can rebel in the best of homes. My wife and I, we've both just worked with kids for so long

that it's always fascinating to see how kids end up growing up. I have seen kids from the worst drug-infested homes in the world not only walk away from that, become strong believers in Jesus Christ, have faithful marriages, and become incredibly successful in their life. And you're like, Mom and Dad didn't have anything to do with that. Other than them looking at Mom and Dad and going, I don't want to be that.

And I have watched kids leave homes from some of the most loving, godly parents, walk away from God, and become atheists. And you go, what went wrong here? Because I have no idea. I know how they were raised. I was around them. I was around their parents. What went wrong here? Listen, at some point in time, you have to understand a child can rebel in a good home.

The question is, is it because of the parents, or is it in spite of the parents? That's what it means to manage your household well. Because all you can do is everything within your power to raise your kids correctly. And then at some point in time, they start making their own decisions. And once they start making their own decisions, you're kind of like, listen, I've taught them, I've disciplined them, I've loved them, I've instructed them.

And as long as I've done that faithfully, at some point in time, God's going to have to handle the rest. God's just going to have to take care of them. Because that's the only thing I can do now. I just have to say, Lord, they're yours. Because they're going to make their own decisions. I remember listening to, or reading the book, Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire. Anybody ever read that book?

Fantastic book on prayer. If you haven't read it, it's by Jim Cimbala. If you haven't read that book, you should absolutely read it. But within that book, which basically is all about him pastoring the Brooklyn Tabernacle and the great work of God that was done in that place. And he's still doing in that place. And then it took place through prayer. And he shares this story about his daughter.

Here he's leading all these people to the Lord. Tons and tons of people are coming forward and getting saved and being discipled and being set free from drugs and all these kinds of things. And he said, I remember Satan coming to me, or hearing something one day, and Satan said, I'm coming for your kids, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. And he said, it was the most bone-chilling moment I'd ever had.

And he said, he did just that. He came for my daughter, and I thought I lost her forever. He said, she rebelled to a level I didn't even know was possible. Until at some point in time, she just ran away, and all we could do was trust God. He said, in that moment, I had to ask myself, can I continue to do this, knowing the qualifications for an elder? He said, the Lord confirmed to me that I was doing everything that I was supposed to do,

and that what I needed to do was pray. Quickly, I'll give you the end of the story. They prayed, and they prayed, and they prayed. Until one night, they had what he only terms as a breakthrough prayer. And that breakthrough prayer brought his daughter home. And she's now restored to him. And it's a beautiful thing. Again, you've got to read the book. I didn't do it justice at all.

But listen, things happen. The question is, is it because of the way that you're managing your household, or is it in spite of the way that you manage your household? Listen, sometimes I can see someone, I'm like, they'd be a great leader, but they don't know how to manage their kids. Their kids are running wild, and they never tell them no. They never put parameters on their life.

They never put any restrictions on their life. And listen, at that point in time, I go, I don't know if that person knows how to manage their household well. Because they never tell their kids no. If you never tell your kids no, you are not managing your household well. Sometimes I have to remember to tell my kids yes, right? I mean, it's probably not good either, but it's just the way it is sometimes.

Feel free to laugh at me. But you have to know that you can do that, because if you can't manage your home, you can't manage the church. Number 14, not a new convert. Some of your translations say not a novice. This is great. You know what the word is? You know what the word novice means? The word novice means newly planted. Newly planted. You cannot put someone in ministry that got saved last week.

You cannot put someone in ministry that got saved three months ago. You got to give them some time. You got to give them some time to put their roots down deep. What do you think about when Paul got saved? Paul had a fantastic understanding of the Old Testament. But he had a lot to learn about Jesus. So after he got saved, what happened? We learned this from the book of Galatians.

He went into the wilderness for how long? Two years. Two years, it was him and Jesus, because he was growing. Listen, I'm less concerned about the timeline. I'm more concerned about the roots. Because if I can start looking at someone and seeing the roots that they have in their life, and that their roots are going deep, and that they're not brand new and not going to be easily pulled out,

then I know that they're probably ready to be put into some sort of ministry. But unfortunately, too many people are not willing to put their roots down deep. And what's really unfortunate is when someone's been saved for 10, 15, 20 years, and it looks like they're going to die. They're still a novice. It looks like they're still newly planted, because they've never put their roots down deep.

They've never begun to really dig in. And so the idea is that you can't give it to them too quickly. And listen, that's sort of a principle for our church here, too. I have people that, our church is growing all the time, and I love it. It's fantastic. And I'll have people that they're just geeked, right? They show up, and they're here for three or four weeks, and they're like, man, I love it here.

This is my church. What can I do to start serving? And I kind of disappoint them a little bit when I say, that is fantastic. You know what you can do right now? What you can do right now is you can just be here for five more months. Because I just want you around for about six months before I put you into any kind of ministry. Not only because you need to know that you're really bought into what we do here.

I need to know that you're committed to being here. And quite frankly, you need to know that you're committed to being here, too. Because in a month and a half, you may go, that guy's obnoxious, and I don't want to be around him anymore. I don't agree with anything he's saying anymore. And then you're free to leave. And that's okay. And then there's no hard feelings that way.

But just give it that amount of time. So that's the way we handle things here, is that you can't be someone who's new. You need to show that you are committed to being there, and that you're committed to serving. I had somebody come to me one time, and they said, hey, I want to start serving in the church. And I looked at them, and I said, that's great. Start by mowing your yard.

And you know what? They didn't like that. And that tells me that they're not rooted enough yet. Because if you're not willing. If you're not willing to do something like that, then you're not ready to serve in some place like this. So start doing the little things. That shows that you're rooted, that you're not a novice, and that you're ready to serve in church.

And then number 15, a good reputation outside the church. A good reputation outside the church. Listen, you can't act like a saint here and act like you ain't out there, right? Like you've got to act, you have to be standard across the board. Like no matter what, they've got a good reputation. Now, listen, you're always going to be the villain in someone's story.

I'm the villain in a lot of stories. And the longer I do this, the more I'm a villain in someone's stories. But my reputation is good enough that when someone tells them the story about me being a villain, they go, I don't think that's true. Matter of fact, I've had people come to me and say, do you know that this is what's being said about you? And I'm like, well, it's not true.

So, I mean, we've got that going for us right now. They're like, well, I didn't think that was true either, but I thought I'd come ask you about it. Because you're always going to be the villain in someone's story. But it just needs to not be true. You need to have a good reputation outside of the church so that your life speaks for itself. So that when people do try to bring accusations against you, none of it can stick.

Because notice what it says, verse 7. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church. Why? So that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. In other words, so that the devil can't get a little foothold in your life and bring you down and bring everyone else down with you. And so these are the qualifications for a leader in the church.

But I want to bring it kind of home for just a minute. Because these should also be the qualifications for the leader of a home. And listen, not everybody's going to be an elder in a church. But fellas, your elders in your home. And I do like to point this out. If these things are not seen in some degree in your life, then you need to ask why. Why am I not this?

Why am I not this kind of leader in my home? Why is this not taking place? Why am I not becoming like this in my life? And then you need to start getting to the root of the problem between you and Jesus. Because these are signs of spiritual maturity. And if you're not maturing spiritually, you should ask yourself why. And ladies, you should hold your husbands accountable to things like this.

You should hold your husband accountable to some of these standards and say, Why is it that you're always angry? Why is it that it seems like, Why is it that the accusations are able to stick? Why is it that you're not leading a respectable life? Why is it that you're addicted to alcohol? You should hold your husbands accountable to this. And you young ladies that are in here,

You should look for a man that fits some of these qualifications. Because that's going to be the guy that leads you. That's going to be the guy that is ultimately going to lead your home in the way that it's supposed to be. And so these characteristics should be growing in the life of a husband. But they should be growing in all of our lives. Because all of us should be growing in our lives.

Because all of us should be growing in our lives. Because all of us ultimately need to become mature as believers. Because all of us ultimately need to become mature as believers. Amen? Let's all stand. And if you'd bow with me. Father, we come to you now. And Lord, I just thank you for the time that we've had in your word. And just ask that you would continue to minister to our lives.

I pray that only the things of you would stay. And Lord, anything that was simply of me would just fall by the wayside. And Lord, that we would become more like you every day. Father, I just want to lift up all the moms out there. I want to lift up all the moms that are here. Lord, I just thank you so much for them. And Lord, I pray that they would know how loved and how precious they are.

And Father, that they would see the fruit of all of their labors. Father, that they would begin to see the fruit of all of the time that they've been pouring into their kids. And Lord, may that fruit be bountiful in their lives. And so Father, we just thank you and praise you for who you are. In Jesus' name. Amen. Be blessed.

Be blessed. In Jesus' name. Amen. Now, the Lord, we thank you for what you've done for us. And Lord, we thank you for the, the good works, Lord God. The fruit that you're producing in our lives, Lord God. And Lord, as we leave here today, I pray that you would continue to work those things. Work those things out in our lives, Lord. Just go with us, continue to minister to us and bless us, Lord.

We love you and we praise you. In Jesus' name. Amen. Happy Mother's Day! Thank you.